News
ENLARGE
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world's only daily column that's got some serious heebie-jeebies every since we received a press release from the folks at Brillo. First, the skinny you need to know immediately about this favorite household cleaner brand:
“WALLED LAKE, MICH — Homemakers today visiting the cleaning aisle of their local retailer will find an exciting array of new products from Brillo including a whole new line of household cleaning products that brings together two of the industry's leading brands for a new offering of products, Brillo Estracell Sponges. This new line of products from Brillo will feature a variety of Estracell more sanitary sponges including the Wedge Edge, the Heavy Duty Scrub Sponge, the Light Duty Scrub Sponge and the Sponge Wipe. Shoppers will also notice a new look for the company's world-renowned soap pads, which will include more soap in each pad, new packaging and a return to the traditional pink soap for the original soap pads, and new yellow soap for the lemon scented soap pads. To celebrate the return to pink, Armaly Brands has entered into a partnership with the Breast Cancer Research Foundation and will be donating five cents for each purchase of specially marked packages of Brillo products up to $50,000. Armaly Brands products are available nationwide at Walmart stores and other fine retailers.”
Have you ever used one of these things? We have to say that, when it comes to baked-on junk there's nothing like one of these gnarly puppies for getting it off. Our experience, though, is that we can't stand touching them — they give us the kind of heebie-jeebies generally reserved for something like Lady Gaga dragging her nails on a chalkboard the size of Nebraska. (Does Lady Gaga have long nails? We're not sure, but we're guessing she does. If not, she should. Also, we should note here that when you get to the level of fame and fortune as Lady Gaga, your days of handling things like Brillo pads are seriously over. But that's another story.) No one else in our house will touch a Brillo pad, so we always end up being the poor schmuck scrubbing away on whatever mess we made, thinking the whole time things like “Man, when I get rich and famous, I am so not scrubbing baked-on manicotti off a baking pan ever again!”
Speaking of Brillo pads, have you ever seen these ceramic frogs some people have on their kitchen sinks for holding such things?
(sound of crickets)
OK, well, take our word for it: Some people have ceramic frogs (and possibly other such animals) perched on their sinks with their mouths agape ready to receive and hold the Brillo pad once you're done using it. It's a way of making things look nice, cuz let's face it: There's nothing nastier-looking than a Brillo pad that's just scrubbed a burnt steak off a broiler pan. Anyway, the ceramic frog Brillo receptacle freaks us out when we see it (which, OK, was just once) cuz, if we're already phobic about touching the things, just seeing a non-sentient being having one of these thrust in its piehole is enough to make us gag. Of all the things in the world you could have shoved in your mouth, one of the worst has got to be a nasty, dirty Brillo pad (and, let's face it, even a clean one would be monumentally unpleasant). Even though it's just a ceramic frog, we can't help but wonder if we shouldn't rally around this cause and stop this abuse of these poor critters. Heck, even a ceramic frogs has rights, doesn't it? If you'd like to help us form the Society for the Prevention of Steel Wool Cruelty to Ceramic Kitchen Animals, e-mail us: summitup@summitdaily.com. It's time to rise up!
(sound of crickets)
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Uh, yeah. Our question is this: Who gives a crap if the soap on your Brillo pad is pink or smells like lemon?
SU: Good question. The last thing you want to do is smell the business end of one of these bad boys once it's started doing its dirty work. That, of course, is assuming you can figure out the business end of a Brillo pad once it's set to work. In our experience, once you start a-scrubbin', that thing turns into this amoeba-like thing with no clear shape, and usually after just a few swipes we're reaching for another one (which is why we don't have a ceramic frog Brillo receptacle; we just throw them out when we're done. Plus there's the whole solidarity-with-the-critters things we're working on).
One last thought about Brillo pads: It sucks if you're a kid with curly hair, because Brillo is the No. 1 brand applied, metaphorically, to your coif. And we know where those things have been ...
MSUR: Well, this is a lot of information about household cleaning products, yet surprisingly we still haven't heard enough about this and wish to know more. What's an “Estracell” sponge?
SU: Listen up:
“Estracell is a nonorganic material formulated from a proprietary formula to form a product similar in composition to a natural ocean sponge. The Estracell material creates a more sanitary line of sponge products and offers a range of simple yet effective cleaning solutions to pick up dirt and rinse it away. The unique cell structure picks up dirt, rinses cleaner and dries out faster, eliminating the perfect breeding condition for bacteria and fungal growth. These properties have helped Estracell more sanitary sponges become a market leader and consumer favorite ever since their introduction nearly 40 years ago.”
There you have it. We leave you with the image of fungal growth on your kitchen sponge
***
OK, we get mail, and if there's one thing that grabs our attention, it's an e-mail subject line that says “Fox pee.” Listen:
“Dear Summit Up, I'm hoping one of your knowledgeable readers can tell me how to stop foxes peeing on my doorstep? I'm also hoping, of course, that this isn't any of our local foxes' commentary on what they personally think of me, but more a case of they're attracted to my flower garden and while admiring it, decide to relieve themselves.
“Is there some sort of deterrent I can spray on my doorstep to discourage this unwelcome behavior?”
Catherine Cockburn, Breckenridge
Anyone got any ideas for Catherine? Our idea is to set up a spring-loaded thing that, when the fox steps on Catherine's doorstep, this mini-catapult (which she builds in her spare time) hurls Brillo pads at the critter whilst music from American Idol runners-up blares in the background. No harm done, of course, but if there's one thing worse than having a Brillo pad shoved in your mouth, it's have one of them surprise launched at you while you're takin' a whiz. That'll show those foxes!
Anyway, if anyone knows of some exotic pheromone for preventing fox pee, let us know at summitup@summitdaily.com and we'll pass it on.
We out.
“WALLED LAKE, MICH — Homemakers today visiting the cleaning aisle of their local retailer will find an exciting array of new products from Brillo including a whole new line of household cleaning products that brings together two of the industry's leading brands for a new offering of products, Brillo Estracell Sponges. This new line of products from Brillo will feature a variety of Estracell more sanitary sponges including the Wedge Edge, the Heavy Duty Scrub Sponge, the Light Duty Scrub Sponge and the Sponge Wipe. Shoppers will also notice a new look for the company's world-renowned soap pads, which will include more soap in each pad, new packaging and a return to the traditional pink soap for the original soap pads, and new yellow soap for the lemon scented soap pads. To celebrate the return to pink, Armaly Brands has entered into a partnership with the Breast Cancer Research Foundation and will be donating five cents for each purchase of specially marked packages of Brillo products up to $50,000. Armaly Brands products are available nationwide at Walmart stores and other fine retailers.”
Have you ever used one of these things? We have to say that, when it comes to baked-on junk there's nothing like one of these gnarly puppies for getting it off. Our experience, though, is that we can't stand touching them — they give us the kind of heebie-jeebies generally reserved for something like Lady Gaga dragging her nails on a chalkboard the size of Nebraska. (Does Lady Gaga have long nails? We're not sure, but we're guessing she does. If not, she should. Also, we should note here that when you get to the level of fame and fortune as Lady Gaga, your days of handling things like Brillo pads are seriously over. But that's another story.) No one else in our house will touch a Brillo pad, so we always end up being the poor schmuck scrubbing away on whatever mess we made, thinking the whole time things like “Man, when I get rich and famous, I am so not scrubbing baked-on manicotti off a baking pan ever again!”
Speaking of Brillo pads, have you ever seen these ceramic frogs some people have on their kitchen sinks for holding such things?
(sound of crickets)
OK, well, take our word for it: Some people have ceramic frogs (and possibly other such animals) perched on their sinks with their mouths agape ready to receive and hold the Brillo pad once you're done using it. It's a way of making things look nice, cuz let's face it: There's nothing nastier-looking than a Brillo pad that's just scrubbed a burnt steak off a broiler pan. Anyway, the ceramic frog Brillo receptacle freaks us out when we see it (which, OK, was just once) cuz, if we're already phobic about touching the things, just seeing a non-sentient being having one of these thrust in its piehole is enough to make us gag. Of all the things in the world you could have shoved in your mouth, one of the worst has got to be a nasty, dirty Brillo pad (and, let's face it, even a clean one would be monumentally unpleasant). Even though it's just a ceramic frog, we can't help but wonder if we shouldn't rally around this cause and stop this abuse of these poor critters. Heck, even a ceramic frogs has rights, doesn't it? If you'd like to help us form the Society for the Prevention of Steel Wool Cruelty to Ceramic Kitchen Animals, e-mail us: summitup@summitdaily.com. It's time to rise up!
(sound of crickets)
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Uh, yeah. Our question is this: Who gives a crap if the soap on your Brillo pad is pink or smells like lemon?
SU: Good question. The last thing you want to do is smell the business end of one of these bad boys once it's started doing its dirty work. That, of course, is assuming you can figure out the business end of a Brillo pad once it's set to work. In our experience, once you start a-scrubbin', that thing turns into this amoeba-like thing with no clear shape, and usually after just a few swipes we're reaching for another one (which is why we don't have a ceramic frog Brillo receptacle; we just throw them out when we're done. Plus there's the whole solidarity-with-the-critters things we're working on).
One last thought about Brillo pads: It sucks if you're a kid with curly hair, because Brillo is the No. 1 brand applied, metaphorically, to your coif. And we know where those things have been ...
MSUR: Well, this is a lot of information about household cleaning products, yet surprisingly we still haven't heard enough about this and wish to know more. What's an “Estracell” sponge?
SU: Listen up:
“Estracell is a nonorganic material formulated from a proprietary formula to form a product similar in composition to a natural ocean sponge. The Estracell material creates a more sanitary line of sponge products and offers a range of simple yet effective cleaning solutions to pick up dirt and rinse it away. The unique cell structure picks up dirt, rinses cleaner and dries out faster, eliminating the perfect breeding condition for bacteria and fungal growth. These properties have helped Estracell more sanitary sponges become a market leader and consumer favorite ever since their introduction nearly 40 years ago.”
There you have it. We leave you with the image of fungal growth on your kitchen sponge
***
OK, we get mail, and if there's one thing that grabs our attention, it's an e-mail subject line that says “Fox pee.” Listen:
“Dear Summit Up, I'm hoping one of your knowledgeable readers can tell me how to stop foxes peeing on my doorstep? I'm also hoping, of course, that this isn't any of our local foxes' commentary on what they personally think of me, but more a case of they're attracted to my flower garden and while admiring it, decide to relieve themselves.
“Is there some sort of deterrent I can spray on my doorstep to discourage this unwelcome behavior?”
Catherine Cockburn, Breckenridge
Anyone got any ideas for Catherine? Our idea is to set up a spring-loaded thing that, when the fox steps on Catherine's doorstep, this mini-catapult (which she builds in her spare time) hurls Brillo pads at the critter whilst music from American Idol runners-up blares in the background. No harm done, of course, but if there's one thing worse than having a Brillo pad shoved in your mouth, it's have one of them surprise launched at you while you're takin' a whiz. That'll show those foxes!
Anyway, if anyone knows of some exotic pheromone for preventing fox pee, let us know at summitup@summitdaily.com and we'll pass it on.
We out.
