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As we sat in the parking lot known as Highway 225 yesterday morning, on the way to visit my dentist in southeast Denver, I thought for probably the billionth time how glad I am that I traded big city living for a life in the mountains.
But sometimes, just sometimes, a faint longing for the city lights tweaks at me — especially this time of year, when I’m reminded of the excitement of the symphony season, and fall play openings, and the big city store windows around Christmastime. I hum a few bars of “Autumn in New York,” and plan an imaginary — and very brief, mind you — sojourn into the city that never sleeps.
That’s why I subscribed this week to a new e-mail newsletter called, with just a hint of irony, “Pocket Change.” If you visit their website at www.pocketchangenyc.com, you’ll see what they’re all about — which, in a word, is money. Their mission is to find the most expensive goods and services in New York and Los Angeles, whether it be a pizza or a pedicure, a hotel suite or a sundae.
After reading one issue of Pocket Change, the appeal of just one day in the big city diminishes dramatically — at least for me.
Not surprisingly, many of the luxuries listed in the newsletter have to do with food.
After all, given a spoon and unlimited access, you can eat enough Beluga caviar in one day to cover the national debt. And speaking of caviar, New York’s most expensive pizza can be found at Nino’s Bellissima, where you can get a 12-inch pie laden with six types of caviar and lobster tail, for $1,000. I believe it averages out to about $33 a bite — and no, you can’t go in and ask to buy it by the slice.
New York’s most expensive ice cream sundae is the “Golden Opulence Sundae” found at Serendipity 3. For a culinary investment of $1,000, you’ll get five scoops of Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream covered in exotic fruits and dessert caviar — all wrapped up in edible 23-carat gold leaf. Expensive, yes — but you get to keep the Baccarat crystal goblet it’s served in.
While the website assures us that the gold leaf wrap is edible, I just don’t have any desire to ingest something that usually adorns the walls of churches and antique table legs.
I guess the lasting benefits would be that you’ll acquire a gold-plated colon, which just doesn’t float my boat.
Speaking of colons, New York’s most expensive colonic irrigation is also listed, for those who care. At Paul Labrecque Salon and Spa, you can get the trendy high-tech version of an enema for $160.
To continue your day of pampering, I’d suggest having Los Angeles’ most expensive pedicure, at the Lea Journo Salon at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. Cost? A paltry $200.
Sure, they give you a glass of white wine to sip while you’re sitting in your massage chair. But if I want that kind of pampering, all I have to do is ask Tim to get out the bottle of nail polish I got from Wal-Mart and paint my toenails for me, while I sip on a bottle of Corona — graced at the rim with a key lime wedge, of course. Because, thanks to the 1930 movie “The Blue Angel,” where Marlene Dietrich has her college professor kneeling at her feet with the nail polish and cotton balls, we ladies have discovered that there’s nothing sexier than having your man paint your toenails for you.
When it’s time to call it a day, you can further indulge yourself by staying at New York’s most expensive hotel suite, the Ty Warner Penthouse Suite at the Four Seasons Hotel (in case you’ve forgotten, Ty is the guy who invented the Beanie Baby). For $30,000 a night you’ll get a 4,300 square foot room, complete with a library, spa, Bosendorfer piano and Zen garden — as well as a butler and a Rolls Royce for the day.
I guess only in America could you become that rich by inventing something called “Patti the Platypus.”
Reading my weekly edition of Pocket Change satisfies any fleeting craving I have for life in the fast lane. And even though it’s been a long time since I tasted Beluga caviar, and I know I won’t be eating anything covered in gold leaf for dinner tonight, I also know that there are plenty of other pleasures awaiting me up here in the High Country.
Skiing started this week, the Rockies are poised to win the pennant this weekend, and I get to take a walk down the street and cuddle my favorite coffeehouse dog just as soon as I’m done writing this.
Life is good.
But sometimes, just sometimes, a faint longing for the city lights tweaks at me — especially this time of year, when I’m reminded of the excitement of the symphony season, and fall play openings, and the big city store windows around Christmastime. I hum a few bars of “Autumn in New York,” and plan an imaginary — and very brief, mind you — sojourn into the city that never sleeps.
That’s why I subscribed this week to a new e-mail newsletter called, with just a hint of irony, “Pocket Change.” If you visit their website at www.pocketchangenyc.com, you’ll see what they’re all about — which, in a word, is money. Their mission is to find the most expensive goods and services in New York and Los Angeles, whether it be a pizza or a pedicure, a hotel suite or a sundae.
After reading one issue of Pocket Change, the appeal of just one day in the big city diminishes dramatically — at least for me.
Not surprisingly, many of the luxuries listed in the newsletter have to do with food.
After all, given a spoon and unlimited access, you can eat enough Beluga caviar in one day to cover the national debt. And speaking of caviar, New York’s most expensive pizza can be found at Nino’s Bellissima, where you can get a 12-inch pie laden with six types of caviar and lobster tail, for $1,000. I believe it averages out to about $33 a bite — and no, you can’t go in and ask to buy it by the slice.
New York’s most expensive ice cream sundae is the “Golden Opulence Sundae” found at Serendipity 3. For a culinary investment of $1,000, you’ll get five scoops of Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream covered in exotic fruits and dessert caviar — all wrapped up in edible 23-carat gold leaf. Expensive, yes — but you get to keep the Baccarat crystal goblet it’s served in.
While the website assures us that the gold leaf wrap is edible, I just don’t have any desire to ingest something that usually adorns the walls of churches and antique table legs.
I guess the lasting benefits would be that you’ll acquire a gold-plated colon, which just doesn’t float my boat.
Speaking of colons, New York’s most expensive colonic irrigation is also listed, for those who care. At Paul Labrecque Salon and Spa, you can get the trendy high-tech version of an enema for $160.
To continue your day of pampering, I’d suggest having Los Angeles’ most expensive pedicure, at the Lea Journo Salon at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. Cost? A paltry $200.
Sure, they give you a glass of white wine to sip while you’re sitting in your massage chair. But if I want that kind of pampering, all I have to do is ask Tim to get out the bottle of nail polish I got from Wal-Mart and paint my toenails for me, while I sip on a bottle of Corona — graced at the rim with a key lime wedge, of course. Because, thanks to the 1930 movie “The Blue Angel,” where Marlene Dietrich has her college professor kneeling at her feet with the nail polish and cotton balls, we ladies have discovered that there’s nothing sexier than having your man paint your toenails for you.
When it’s time to call it a day, you can further indulge yourself by staying at New York’s most expensive hotel suite, the Ty Warner Penthouse Suite at the Four Seasons Hotel (in case you’ve forgotten, Ty is the guy who invented the Beanie Baby). For $30,000 a night you’ll get a 4,300 square foot room, complete with a library, spa, Bosendorfer piano and Zen garden — as well as a butler and a Rolls Royce for the day.
I guess only in America could you become that rich by inventing something called “Patti the Platypus.”
Reading my weekly edition of Pocket Change satisfies any fleeting craving I have for life in the fast lane. And even though it’s been a long time since I tasted Beluga caviar, and I know I won’t be eating anything covered in gold leaf for dinner tonight, I also know that there are plenty of other pleasures awaiting me up here in the High Country.
Skiing started this week, the Rockies are poised to win the pennant this weekend, and I get to take a walk down the street and cuddle my favorite coffeehouse dog just as soon as I’m done writing this.
Life is good.
