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They’ve failed me again, drat it, for the third straight year in a row.
I’m talking about the Leprechaun Cam, hosted by www.irelandseye.com. Someone planted a camera it in the middle of a field in Tipperary (where it’s a long way to — remember the song?) and turned it on — and now we’re supposed to be able to see the little critters, or whatever they are, doing whatever it is they do.
Since we’re nearing Saint Patrick’s Day, I decided to hunt up the old Leprechaun Cam and try my luck again. There really is a camera there, hidden by heaven knows who in the trunk of a 600-year-old oak tree. The camera frame flips every minute or so, reminding us that we’re really getting a live, real time image.
Every time the camera flips, you just know that someone out there is saying, “Hey look over there! Did I see something? Er ... no, wait — it’s just the camera flipping.” The constant disappointment for True Believers must be overwhelming.
Actually, all you’re really doing is staring at an ancient rock wall, graced with a vivid blue sky above. It’s really rather pretty, if you’ve got a few minutes and enjoy staring at your computer screen.
Me, I’ve never wanted to meet a Leprechaun. They seem to be rather spiteful, malevolent creatures, eager to mess everything up and cause havoc in the world. We already have too many human beings like that, so it’s unpleasant to think that, somewhere in the mists of fairyland, there are supernatural forces out to get us, too.
Since, like me, you’re probably part Irish but don’t know anything about Leprechauns, I decided to look up a few basic Leprechaun Facts. Actually, what I really want to know is, do Leprechauns live only in Ireland? Are there any Leprechauns in America?
But first, if you want to do any research on Leprechauns, it’s best to find a website with the least amount of Gaelic. Ireland’s Eye, bless them, starts off by telling us that the name Leprechaun probably derived from the Irish leath bhrogan (shoemaker) — although dissenters claim they’re named for Luacharma’n (Irish for pygmy).
Getting nowhere fast, I went back to my old friend, Wikipedia.
According to Wikipedia, Leprechauns are old men who enjoy making mischief and creating havoc for everyone around them. They also enjoy accumulating and hiding treasure during times of war …
Wait a minute. This is starting to sound really familiar, as if I knew these people or something …
That’s it! I just realized, we DO have Leprechauns in America. Apparently, they’re all in Washington, D.C.
Looking for more evidence, I continued to read. According to Wikipedia, Leprechauns have a mind for cunning, and try to outwit those around them. While they follow the laws, they’re careful to maximize the use of legal loopholes …
I think that clinches it right there, don’t you?
I realize now why we don’t need a Leprechaun Cam. Over here, our Leprechauns don’t even bother to hide. If you want to see an American Leprechaun, just turn on C-Span anytime day or night, and you’ll see quite a few.
They may be a bit taller than the Irish variety — and they’re certainly not green in any discernable way, if you know what I mean — but otherwise they meet all the requirements of Leprechaun-ism.
If you want to meet an Irish Leprechaun, they say you can build a Leprechaun trap by making a hole in a box, covering it with tissue paper, and putting a few coins on top. Apparently, the Irish variety will come out of hiding, try to pick the coins off the tissue paper, and fall right down into the box.
If you want to get hold of an American Leprechaun, I would suggest building something that looks like an old ballot box, and sticking a few hanging chads on top. American Leprechauns can’t resist hanging chads — to them, they’re worth more than gold.
It’s your choice if you actually want to confront one of the creatures. But I’d stay away, if I were you. Happy Saint Pat’s.
I’m talking about the Leprechaun Cam, hosted by www.irelandseye.com. Someone planted a camera it in the middle of a field in Tipperary (where it’s a long way to — remember the song?) and turned it on — and now we’re supposed to be able to see the little critters, or whatever they are, doing whatever it is they do.
Since we’re nearing Saint Patrick’s Day, I decided to hunt up the old Leprechaun Cam and try my luck again. There really is a camera there, hidden by heaven knows who in the trunk of a 600-year-old oak tree. The camera frame flips every minute or so, reminding us that we’re really getting a live, real time image.
Every time the camera flips, you just know that someone out there is saying, “Hey look over there! Did I see something? Er ... no, wait — it’s just the camera flipping.” The constant disappointment for True Believers must be overwhelming.
Actually, all you’re really doing is staring at an ancient rock wall, graced with a vivid blue sky above. It’s really rather pretty, if you’ve got a few minutes and enjoy staring at your computer screen.
Me, I’ve never wanted to meet a Leprechaun. They seem to be rather spiteful, malevolent creatures, eager to mess everything up and cause havoc in the world. We already have too many human beings like that, so it’s unpleasant to think that, somewhere in the mists of fairyland, there are supernatural forces out to get us, too.
Since, like me, you’re probably part Irish but don’t know anything about Leprechauns, I decided to look up a few basic Leprechaun Facts. Actually, what I really want to know is, do Leprechauns live only in Ireland? Are there any Leprechauns in America?
But first, if you want to do any research on Leprechauns, it’s best to find a website with the least amount of Gaelic. Ireland’s Eye, bless them, starts off by telling us that the name Leprechaun probably derived from the Irish leath bhrogan (shoemaker) — although dissenters claim they’re named for Luacharma’n (Irish for pygmy).
Getting nowhere fast, I went back to my old friend, Wikipedia.
According to Wikipedia, Leprechauns are old men who enjoy making mischief and creating havoc for everyone around them. They also enjoy accumulating and hiding treasure during times of war …
Wait a minute. This is starting to sound really familiar, as if I knew these people or something …
That’s it! I just realized, we DO have Leprechauns in America. Apparently, they’re all in Washington, D.C.
Looking for more evidence, I continued to read. According to Wikipedia, Leprechauns have a mind for cunning, and try to outwit those around them. While they follow the laws, they’re careful to maximize the use of legal loopholes …
I think that clinches it right there, don’t you?
I realize now why we don’t need a Leprechaun Cam. Over here, our Leprechauns don’t even bother to hide. If you want to see an American Leprechaun, just turn on C-Span anytime day or night, and you’ll see quite a few.
They may be a bit taller than the Irish variety — and they’re certainly not green in any discernable way, if you know what I mean — but otherwise they meet all the requirements of Leprechaun-ism.
If you want to meet an Irish Leprechaun, they say you can build a Leprechaun trap by making a hole in a box, covering it with tissue paper, and putting a few coins on top. Apparently, the Irish variety will come out of hiding, try to pick the coins off the tissue paper, and fall right down into the box.
If you want to get hold of an American Leprechaun, I would suggest building something that looks like an old ballot box, and sticking a few hanging chads on top. American Leprechauns can’t resist hanging chads — to them, they’re worth more than gold.
It’s your choice if you actually want to confront one of the creatures. But I’d stay away, if I were you. Happy Saint Pat’s.
