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Editor's note: This is the third-place winner in the recent Summit County Rotary/Summit Daily News Short Story Contest for Summit High students. Winners won cash prizes, a certificate and had the opportunity to read their stories aloud at the Rotary Club's weekly meeting Nov. 24.
It's present day in Kentucky, and Jim, the “average Bob,” goes to work as an employee at the original KFC restaurant, and starts his work as any other day. He enters the freezer to get chicken to fry, and can't help but notice the feeling that some extremely powerful force is watching his every move. Jim looks around, and every thing seemed to be in order, so he ignores the feeling and continues on with his day. Jim approaches the deep fryer and sets the chicken in as carefully as he can, but still the boiling oil splashes onto his arms and face as usual. Jim let out a horrific cry and runs to the freezer to cool his burning flesh. Today he decided to run to the very back of the freezer thinking it will be colder. As the back wall comes closer he sees a figure on a shelf, and Jim finds himself in a staring contest with lifeless entity, fear grips his heart leaving him paralyzed.
Meanwhile FBI Agent Darby was sitting at his desk in Washington, D.C., contemplating his future while he ate his lunch courtesy of KFC. He then realized that there was big money in fast food franchises. He began thinking that he could steal the fried chicken recipe from KFC because of how successful they were. At first he started thinking this just as a joke to himself, but slowly it became more and more of a reality to Agent Darby. He began to search for more agents within the FBI to help. By the end of his search for minions, he had three agents volunteering to help him. There was Agent Jimbo, Agent Rufus, and Agent Chuck Norris; their KFC heist was underway.
Once Jim was able to think clearly again he noticed an envelope underneath the frozen head. He cautiously removed the envelope and slowly opened it and removed a letter and read it:
“Long ago it was prophesied (in 1952) that an evil force would rise against my restaurant to steal my recipe. I then knew that the small fast food franchise that I had just started would grow to be very successful, and with any successful restaurant there will be someone who wants to steal the glory from the founder for themselves. If you are reading this then you have been chosen to lead in the struggle, but fear not you will be helped by a strong and capable acquaintance other than myself. When such a problem arises you must take my frozen head and body to an African witch doctor by the name of Shaka Zulu to have me revived and I shall aid you in your struggle”
—Colonel Sanders
Jim was just now realizing how cold he was getting so put the letter in his pocket and didn't think know whether to believe what he just read or not. He began to walk out of the freezer and grabbed a piece of boneless chicken on his way out to cool his face while he worked. He had been working for almost an hour, unable to focus on anything other than the letter, he didn't even notice when one of the many rats that live under the deep fryer was on his shoe, until a woman released a heart-wrenching scream “RAT!” Then Jim noticed and kicked the rat back under the fryer. After that he tried harder to stay focused on his work until he went home.
Jim pulled into his parents' driveway on his electric moped with a bucket of chicken from work and unlocked the front door, then went to his room. It was 7 o'clock by the time Jim ate all his fried chicken and he needed to get up early the next morning, he was also exhausted so he went to bed. As soon as Jim fell sleep the face of Colonel Sanders appeared to him and told him that he had been chosen, then Jim woke up in a cold sweat and knew that he needed to find Shaka Zulu and take him the body of the Colonel.
Jim woke up even earlier to go work, and this time he borrowed his mom's car and took a duffle bag with him. He was at work so early that the only person there was his boss and he was in his office, so the freezer was clear. Jim took the duffle bag and ran to the freezer, he put the Colonel's body and head in it and ran back to the car and put it in the trunk, then went to work. Today he was able to focus — at least until four men walked in and suspiciously began looking around the walls and ceiling as if they were looking for cameras. Then after about five minutes the four of them finally ordered, then one of them said don't worry about it guys, I'll take the check. He then handed Jim a credit card and when Jim was handing it back he looked at the name, John Darby. Jim thought he had heard that name before, but he didn't recognize the face, but he just disregarded it and continued on with his work.
Jim went home and put his life savings toward a round trip airplane ticket to Zimbabwe, Africa in order to find the Witch doctor Shaka Zulu. Then he mailed his duffle bag in a box to Africa so he could get Colonel Sanders once his plane landed. He left the next day without either of his parents knowing he was leaving so he needed to make his trip as quick as he could. He got through security and boarded the plane without any problems and was on his way to Africa.
Once Jim landed in Africa he needed to get the box that had his duffle bag in it. Once he got he box he walked outside and he tried to find someone who could speak English. After about half an hour he finally found someone he could talk to. He asked the man if he knew who Shaka Zulu was, and the man looked as if Jim had just mentioned a head member of the mob. He gave Jim the address and Jim thanked the man and called a cab. He got in the cab and gave the driver the address and, as he did, the driver's eyes grew larger, and then reluctantly the driver pulled onto the road. Then the driver stopped about a block away from a building that was falling apart and pointed to it. Jim felt fear when he looked at the building and began to wonder why the driver wouldn't pull up to it. Jim just decided not to ask, the driver probably didn't speak much English if any. He just got the box and began to walk to the building.
As he got closer he noticed that there were holes in the roof, all the windows were either broken or just non-existent, and the front door was ripped off its hinges and propped up against the wall. He stood at the threshold of the door and saw a staircase against the back wall and the only pieces of furniture were an old couch full of holes and appeared to have a broken frame to support it, and table with a lamp on it, but the lamp didn't have lampshade or a light bulb in it. Jim called “is anyone here?” He almost wished that there was no one there, but in just a few seconds he saw a short, bald African man with a bone pierced through his nose and a wooden staff decorated with beads, feathers, and what looked like small rodent skulls. He descended the staircase and the staff rattled with every move the man made. Jim asked if he was Shaka Zulu and the man nodded. Jim immediately opened the box and pulled out the duffle bad, then unzipped it to reveal Colonel Sanders. Shaka was very surprised to see the Colonel. Then in his disfigured English Shaka said: “No charge, no charge. Follow.”
Jim lifted the bag — which was now wet because Colonel Sanders had been thawing for over a day now — and followed Shaka Zulu up the creaky staircase to a larger room which was illuminated by sunlight entering through the holes in the ceiling. The room was completely empty besides an elevated wooden platform in the in the middle of it, and a shelf with a few books on it. Shaka took the Colonel and set the two parts of him on the platform. Then Shaka Zulu began to sew the head of the Colonel back to his body — a process that took about two hours. Then Shaka took a book off a shelf in that room and turned to the middle of it. Shaka then began to dance and chant around the platform for about three hours while Jim just sat there and watched, as nothing seemed to happen. Then once he was done dancing and chanting Shaka walked closer to Colonel Sanders, rose up his staff and struck the Colonel in the head with it. At this moment the Colonel sprang up and said they needed to leave immediately. Jim then realized he hadn't purchase two tickets back to Kentucky. Shaka then lead them outside and showed them a small jet with a pilot inside that was ready to go. Jim had no clue how Shaka could afford this, but he thought that he might be better off not knowing, so Jim and the Colonel got on the jet and left right away. Jim could not have cared less that Colonel Sanders was sitting next to him, all he could think about was that he just spent all his money for this and that something unbelievable better happen when he goes to work with Colonel Sanders the following day.
Jim went directly to work with the Colonel in the morning, and after he had been inside with Colonel Sanders telling him the “right way” to make chicken for half the day, four FBI agents burst through the door. Agent Darby pulled out a gun and took aim for the Colonel but he was too slow: Colonel Sanders had already dove behind the deep fryer, and Agent Darby's bullet went right through the drive-through window. Agent Chuck Norris then betrayed Darby and shot him in the back of his leg when he began to go for the safe in the manger's office that contained the recipe for the perfect fried chicken because Chuck Norris realized that the secret recipe needed to remain a secret. Colonel Sanders then reached under the deep fryer and grabbed one of the multiple rats that lived under it and threw it as hard as he could at Agent Jimbo's face, and it began to eat his nose. Then Jim tossed a pot full of boiling oil at Agent Rufus's face.
The KFC workers, along with Chuck Norris, won the battle. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris needed to leave in order to fight Jet Lee in “Return of the Dragon.” So Jim and the Colonel sat down and celebrated their victory with a bucket of fried chicken. And Jim knew that if the original recipe were threatened again, the Colonel would be there.
It's present day in Kentucky, and Jim, the “average Bob,” goes to work as an employee at the original KFC restaurant, and starts his work as any other day. He enters the freezer to get chicken to fry, and can't help but notice the feeling that some extremely powerful force is watching his every move. Jim looks around, and every thing seemed to be in order, so he ignores the feeling and continues on with his day. Jim approaches the deep fryer and sets the chicken in as carefully as he can, but still the boiling oil splashes onto his arms and face as usual. Jim let out a horrific cry and runs to the freezer to cool his burning flesh. Today he decided to run to the very back of the freezer thinking it will be colder. As the back wall comes closer he sees a figure on a shelf, and Jim finds himself in a staring contest with lifeless entity, fear grips his heart leaving him paralyzed.
Meanwhile FBI Agent Darby was sitting at his desk in Washington, D.C., contemplating his future while he ate his lunch courtesy of KFC. He then realized that there was big money in fast food franchises. He began thinking that he could steal the fried chicken recipe from KFC because of how successful they were. At first he started thinking this just as a joke to himself, but slowly it became more and more of a reality to Agent Darby. He began to search for more agents within the FBI to help. By the end of his search for minions, he had three agents volunteering to help him. There was Agent Jimbo, Agent Rufus, and Agent Chuck Norris; their KFC heist was underway.
Once Jim was able to think clearly again he noticed an envelope underneath the frozen head. He cautiously removed the envelope and slowly opened it and removed a letter and read it:
“Long ago it was prophesied (in 1952) that an evil force would rise against my restaurant to steal my recipe. I then knew that the small fast food franchise that I had just started would grow to be very successful, and with any successful restaurant there will be someone who wants to steal the glory from the founder for themselves. If you are reading this then you have been chosen to lead in the struggle, but fear not you will be helped by a strong and capable acquaintance other than myself. When such a problem arises you must take my frozen head and body to an African witch doctor by the name of Shaka Zulu to have me revived and I shall aid you in your struggle”
—Colonel Sanders
Jim was just now realizing how cold he was getting so put the letter in his pocket and didn't think know whether to believe what he just read or not. He began to walk out of the freezer and grabbed a piece of boneless chicken on his way out to cool his face while he worked. He had been working for almost an hour, unable to focus on anything other than the letter, he didn't even notice when one of the many rats that live under the deep fryer was on his shoe, until a woman released a heart-wrenching scream “RAT!” Then Jim noticed and kicked the rat back under the fryer. After that he tried harder to stay focused on his work until he went home.
Jim pulled into his parents' driveway on his electric moped with a bucket of chicken from work and unlocked the front door, then went to his room. It was 7 o'clock by the time Jim ate all his fried chicken and he needed to get up early the next morning, he was also exhausted so he went to bed. As soon as Jim fell sleep the face of Colonel Sanders appeared to him and told him that he had been chosen, then Jim woke up in a cold sweat and knew that he needed to find Shaka Zulu and take him the body of the Colonel.
Jim woke up even earlier to go work, and this time he borrowed his mom's car and took a duffle bag with him. He was at work so early that the only person there was his boss and he was in his office, so the freezer was clear. Jim took the duffle bag and ran to the freezer, he put the Colonel's body and head in it and ran back to the car and put it in the trunk, then went to work. Today he was able to focus — at least until four men walked in and suspiciously began looking around the walls and ceiling as if they were looking for cameras. Then after about five minutes the four of them finally ordered, then one of them said don't worry about it guys, I'll take the check. He then handed Jim a credit card and when Jim was handing it back he looked at the name, John Darby. Jim thought he had heard that name before, but he didn't recognize the face, but he just disregarded it and continued on with his work.
Jim went home and put his life savings toward a round trip airplane ticket to Zimbabwe, Africa in order to find the Witch doctor Shaka Zulu. Then he mailed his duffle bag in a box to Africa so he could get Colonel Sanders once his plane landed. He left the next day without either of his parents knowing he was leaving so he needed to make his trip as quick as he could. He got through security and boarded the plane without any problems and was on his way to Africa.
Once Jim landed in Africa he needed to get the box that had his duffle bag in it. Once he got he box he walked outside and he tried to find someone who could speak English. After about half an hour he finally found someone he could talk to. He asked the man if he knew who Shaka Zulu was, and the man looked as if Jim had just mentioned a head member of the mob. He gave Jim the address and Jim thanked the man and called a cab. He got in the cab and gave the driver the address and, as he did, the driver's eyes grew larger, and then reluctantly the driver pulled onto the road. Then the driver stopped about a block away from a building that was falling apart and pointed to it. Jim felt fear when he looked at the building and began to wonder why the driver wouldn't pull up to it. Jim just decided not to ask, the driver probably didn't speak much English if any. He just got the box and began to walk to the building.
As he got closer he noticed that there were holes in the roof, all the windows were either broken or just non-existent, and the front door was ripped off its hinges and propped up against the wall. He stood at the threshold of the door and saw a staircase against the back wall and the only pieces of furniture were an old couch full of holes and appeared to have a broken frame to support it, and table with a lamp on it, but the lamp didn't have lampshade or a light bulb in it. Jim called “is anyone here?” He almost wished that there was no one there, but in just a few seconds he saw a short, bald African man with a bone pierced through his nose and a wooden staff decorated with beads, feathers, and what looked like small rodent skulls. He descended the staircase and the staff rattled with every move the man made. Jim asked if he was Shaka Zulu and the man nodded. Jim immediately opened the box and pulled out the duffle bad, then unzipped it to reveal Colonel Sanders. Shaka was very surprised to see the Colonel. Then in his disfigured English Shaka said: “No charge, no charge. Follow.”
Jim lifted the bag — which was now wet because Colonel Sanders had been thawing for over a day now — and followed Shaka Zulu up the creaky staircase to a larger room which was illuminated by sunlight entering through the holes in the ceiling. The room was completely empty besides an elevated wooden platform in the in the middle of it, and a shelf with a few books on it. Shaka took the Colonel and set the two parts of him on the platform. Then Shaka Zulu began to sew the head of the Colonel back to his body — a process that took about two hours. Then Shaka took a book off a shelf in that room and turned to the middle of it. Shaka then began to dance and chant around the platform for about three hours while Jim just sat there and watched, as nothing seemed to happen. Then once he was done dancing and chanting Shaka walked closer to Colonel Sanders, rose up his staff and struck the Colonel in the head with it. At this moment the Colonel sprang up and said they needed to leave immediately. Jim then realized he hadn't purchase two tickets back to Kentucky. Shaka then lead them outside and showed them a small jet with a pilot inside that was ready to go. Jim had no clue how Shaka could afford this, but he thought that he might be better off not knowing, so Jim and the Colonel got on the jet and left right away. Jim could not have cared less that Colonel Sanders was sitting next to him, all he could think about was that he just spent all his money for this and that something unbelievable better happen when he goes to work with Colonel Sanders the following day.
Jim went directly to work with the Colonel in the morning, and after he had been inside with Colonel Sanders telling him the “right way” to make chicken for half the day, four FBI agents burst through the door. Agent Darby pulled out a gun and took aim for the Colonel but he was too slow: Colonel Sanders had already dove behind the deep fryer, and Agent Darby's bullet went right through the drive-through window. Agent Chuck Norris then betrayed Darby and shot him in the back of his leg when he began to go for the safe in the manger's office that contained the recipe for the perfect fried chicken because Chuck Norris realized that the secret recipe needed to remain a secret. Colonel Sanders then reached under the deep fryer and grabbed one of the multiple rats that lived under it and threw it as hard as he could at Agent Jimbo's face, and it began to eat his nose. Then Jim tossed a pot full of boiling oil at Agent Rufus's face.
The KFC workers, along with Chuck Norris, won the battle. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris needed to leave in order to fight Jet Lee in “Return of the Dragon.” So Jim and the Colonel sat down and celebrated their victory with a bucket of fried chicken. And Jim knew that if the original recipe were threatened again, the Colonel would be there.
