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Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world's only daily column that is prepping for Valentine's Day like Cupid on steroids. We've ordered over 5,000 metric tons of chocolate, 7,000 bouquets of roses, 17 cases of red wine, 14 boxcars full of naughty underwear and enough fine-smellin' bath salts to treat Lake Huron.
Actually, we're just kidding. We just realized V-Day is just around the corner, and, as usual, we're flailing for ideas about how to please our honey while also serving the corporate overlords and the consumer-advertising-greeting card complex that created this holiday. Really, when it comes to the one you love, isn't every day Valentine's Day? It's like when your kids reluctantly fork over a paper plate with macaroni glued on as a Mother's or Father's Day gift and ask when “Kids' Day” is and you say that most hated of all parental phrases: “Every day is kids' day.”
Come to think of it, maybe we won't use that “Every day is Valentine's Day” line. Might not work.
Speaking of romantic stuff, have you ever seen those jewelry store commercials about how “Every kiss begins with Kay?” Guys, you know what we're talking about when we say that, when you watch one of these commercials with your special someone, you can't help squirming guiltily just a bit when you think “Hmmm ... when's the last time I bought my sweetie a diamond-studded tennis bracelet?” And so the song starts to sound like “All the guilt begins with G!”
It's not as bad as watching a feminine hygiene commercial with your teenage daughter, but it's close.
***
So, we're always looking for a new bandwagon to hop on, and our latest is Meatless Monday.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: It's Tuesday.
SU: We know, but it'll be Monday soon enough again, mark our words. So just listen:
This is a nationwide movement to get folks to take one day a week off from eating meat. The stated goal is to “reduce meat consumption by 15 percent in order to improve personal health and the health of our planet.”
The average pound of beef takes, like, 400 bazillion gallons of water and 17 gigawatts of power to produce, so the theory is if you eat less meat, you not only help the planet but also help yourself, since every bite of cheeseburger takes .073 seconds off your life (we just made that up, but it's probably close).
Anyway, we're not sure if this includes fish or eggs or what, but if you want to know more, check out www.meatlessmonday.com. We're down with it — just so long as it's not followed by tiramisu-less Tuesday.
***
Speaking of that thing we were talking about earlier, did you know that Feb. 14 is also the beginning of the Year of the Tiger in the Chinese calendar? We received an e-mail from earthTV, which told us this:
“Chinese New Year (or Spring Festival) is the most important of the traditional Chinese holidays – the significance can be compared to Christmas in Western countries. It is sometimes called the ‘Lunar New Year,' due to the use of a lunar calendar (months are moon months and the years are sun years). The Chinese New Year is celebrated on a new moon between January 21 and February 21 and is the longest and most important festivity in the Lunar Calendar. The origin of Chinese New Year is itself centuries old and gains significance because of several myths and traditions.”
Who knew? Yes, Chinese people of course, but other than them? Learn more, if you want, by checking out www.earthtv.com, which has some videos about some of the cool Chinese New Year stuff going in places like Hong Kong, Macau and Heeney.
Well, folks, that's enough for today. We've got to go line up our firecracker supply for Chinese New Year.
We out.
Actually, we're just kidding. We just realized V-Day is just around the corner, and, as usual, we're flailing for ideas about how to please our honey while also serving the corporate overlords and the consumer-advertising-greeting card complex that created this holiday. Really, when it comes to the one you love, isn't every day Valentine's Day? It's like when your kids reluctantly fork over a paper plate with macaroni glued on as a Mother's or Father's Day gift and ask when “Kids' Day” is and you say that most hated of all parental phrases: “Every day is kids' day.”
Come to think of it, maybe we won't use that “Every day is Valentine's Day” line. Might not work.
Speaking of romantic stuff, have you ever seen those jewelry store commercials about how “Every kiss begins with Kay?” Guys, you know what we're talking about when we say that, when you watch one of these commercials with your special someone, you can't help squirming guiltily just a bit when you think “Hmmm ... when's the last time I bought my sweetie a diamond-studded tennis bracelet?” And so the song starts to sound like “All the guilt begins with G!”
It's not as bad as watching a feminine hygiene commercial with your teenage daughter, but it's close.
***
So, we're always looking for a new bandwagon to hop on, and our latest is Meatless Monday.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: It's Tuesday.
SU: We know, but it'll be Monday soon enough again, mark our words. So just listen:
This is a nationwide movement to get folks to take one day a week off from eating meat. The stated goal is to “reduce meat consumption by 15 percent in order to improve personal health and the health of our planet.”
The average pound of beef takes, like, 400 bazillion gallons of water and 17 gigawatts of power to produce, so the theory is if you eat less meat, you not only help the planet but also help yourself, since every bite of cheeseburger takes .073 seconds off your life (we just made that up, but it's probably close).
Anyway, we're not sure if this includes fish or eggs or what, but if you want to know more, check out www.meatlessmonday.com. We're down with it — just so long as it's not followed by tiramisu-less Tuesday.
***
Speaking of that thing we were talking about earlier, did you know that Feb. 14 is also the beginning of the Year of the Tiger in the Chinese calendar? We received an e-mail from earthTV, which told us this:
“Chinese New Year (or Spring Festival) is the most important of the traditional Chinese holidays – the significance can be compared to Christmas in Western countries. It is sometimes called the ‘Lunar New Year,' due to the use of a lunar calendar (months are moon months and the years are sun years). The Chinese New Year is celebrated on a new moon between January 21 and February 21 and is the longest and most important festivity in the Lunar Calendar. The origin of Chinese New Year is itself centuries old and gains significance because of several myths and traditions.”
Who knew? Yes, Chinese people of course, but other than them? Learn more, if you want, by checking out www.earthtv.com, which has some videos about some of the cool Chinese New Year stuff going in places like Hong Kong, Macau and Heeney.
Well, folks, that's enough for today. We've got to go line up our firecracker supply for Chinese New Year.
We out.
