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It was like watching Ricky Bobby and, um, that other guy from “Talladega Nights,” when a herd of stock cars came roaring to the finish line in NASCAR's race at (the actual) Talladega on Sunday. Four teams of two pushed their way to one of the closest finishes in Good Ol' Boy racing history.
Jimmie Johnson won — with teammate Dale Jr. giving him a little nudge — but the big story was how restrictor-plate racing is starting to change the sport. Throughout the race, teammates were imploring a new dual-drafting technique to make up for the, well, restrictions that restrictor plates place on speed. Basically, it was a more sophisticated version of the “shake-n-bake,” just not as funny.
And, when all was said and done …
Uh, sorry, I can't keep pretending that I care about any of this. I'd rather watch Shaq and Albert Haynesworth have a hot-dog eating contest than sit through a car race.
Really, it's not NASCAR's fault; I've just been a little disinterested for the past three or four days since witnessing an all-too-familiar mental meltdown from my Cubs at Coors Field on Sunday. Unfortunately, I was there, and, more fortunately, my son is young enough to ever remember that he was, too.
I'm not going to get into the details here, but the Cubs left town with a 9-5 loss (going 1-2 in the series), and I left down Blake Street with the type of headache I usually only get when trying to understand Les Miles in a postgame press conference.
The next few days were rough ones. I had a Richie “The Baumer” Tenenbaum-type breakdown playing knee hockey with my son on Monday, and I'm still not sure where one of my shoes went.
I'm recovering, though, and one thing that usually helps me — as my eternally optimistic wife puts it — is looking at the “good side of things.”
So, as an exercise in bright-side-looking, here are some stories that, at first glance, seem negative but have a positive spin ...
It's all Wright, Mets fans. The New York Mets are a disaster — not just on the field but in a bizarrely broke ownership kind of way. The Metropolitans were 5-11 going into Tuesday night's game (last in the entire MLB) with fellow bottom-feeder Houston. They can't hit; they can't field; their only good pitcher, Johan Santana is on the DL for what must be the 832nd time in the last four years; and we're still only 16 games into the season. So, where's the positive? Video surfaced Tuesday of third baseman David Wright playing catch ... with a group of kids in the stands during batting practice before a game in Atlanta. He also gave his No. 5 armband to one of the kids after the game. It's one of those moments that make you remember what these games are about. Sure, all the kids were Braves fans, but, hey, it's not like the Mets have fans of their own still.
Five-finger discount. Cincinnati Reds' pitcher Mike Leake was arrested Monday for shoplifting. A second-year Major Leaguer, Leake, who makes $425,000 this year, stole six T-shirts from Macy's valued at $59.88. Not a good moment. He removed the tags from the shirts and tried to slip past security. Even stranger, Reds' manager Dusty Baker won't remove him from his schedule start on Thursday. (Baker is always determined to overpitch young arms.) The positive? Um, in a day and age of athletes living in excess, at least this guy's thrifty, right? At the very least, he might have shown a way for athletes to get through the ...
NFL lockout. We're on Day (insert pathetically high number here) of the NFL lockout, and negotiations are about as dismal as the projected average attendance for the WNBA this summer. Don't worry, though, with the government involved, now, I guarantee we'll see pro football again ... in 2012.
Online poker goes kaput? Owners of the three major online poker websites — PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Absolute Poker — were indicted on Friday with charges of bank fraud, illegal gambling and money laundering. Some fear these charges could have a chain reaction throughout the poker world, including, but not limited to, destroying the World Series of Poker. Roughly 60 percent of the entrants in last year's Main Event qualified through online outlets. This could all be catastrophic for the poker industry and even the city of Las Vegas, which has a lot invested in the WSOP. It's a bad situation, but if thousands of Americans are no longer able to spend the late hours of the night gambling online, that might not be such a bad thing.
Three-peat for Dwight. Orlando center and everyone's favorite freak athlete Dwight Howard became the first player in NBA history to win three straight Defensive Player of the Year awards. When he was given the award on Monday, Howard thanked his teammates ... for playing such poor defense that it allowed him to get help-side blocks. He was joking (right?), and it was pretty funny. His teammates should've thanked him for swatting so many balls out of bounds rather than tapping it to them to keep possessions, or maybe that he can be arguably the most talented big man in the league but not be able to take over games when it matters.
Wait, that was reverse of making it positive. Maybe my attitude needs a restrictor plate.
Sports editor Bryce Evans never officially raced cars but was voted “Fastest Driver” in his high school year book.
Jimmie Johnson won — with teammate Dale Jr. giving him a little nudge — but the big story was how restrictor-plate racing is starting to change the sport. Throughout the race, teammates were imploring a new dual-drafting technique to make up for the, well, restrictions that restrictor plates place on speed. Basically, it was a more sophisticated version of the “shake-n-bake,” just not as funny.
And, when all was said and done …
Uh, sorry, I can't keep pretending that I care about any of this. I'd rather watch Shaq and Albert Haynesworth have a hot-dog eating contest than sit through a car race.
Really, it's not NASCAR's fault; I've just been a little disinterested for the past three or four days since witnessing an all-too-familiar mental meltdown from my Cubs at Coors Field on Sunday. Unfortunately, I was there, and, more fortunately, my son is young enough to ever remember that he was, too.
I'm not going to get into the details here, but the Cubs left town with a 9-5 loss (going 1-2 in the series), and I left down Blake Street with the type of headache I usually only get when trying to understand Les Miles in a postgame press conference.
The next few days were rough ones. I had a Richie “The Baumer” Tenenbaum-type breakdown playing knee hockey with my son on Monday, and I'm still not sure where one of my shoes went.
I'm recovering, though, and one thing that usually helps me — as my eternally optimistic wife puts it — is looking at the “good side of things.”
So, as an exercise in bright-side-looking, here are some stories that, at first glance, seem negative but have a positive spin ...
It's all Wright, Mets fans. The New York Mets are a disaster — not just on the field but in a bizarrely broke ownership kind of way. The Metropolitans were 5-11 going into Tuesday night's game (last in the entire MLB) with fellow bottom-feeder Houston. They can't hit; they can't field; their only good pitcher, Johan Santana is on the DL for what must be the 832nd time in the last four years; and we're still only 16 games into the season. So, where's the positive? Video surfaced Tuesday of third baseman David Wright playing catch ... with a group of kids in the stands during batting practice before a game in Atlanta. He also gave his No. 5 armband to one of the kids after the game. It's one of those moments that make you remember what these games are about. Sure, all the kids were Braves fans, but, hey, it's not like the Mets have fans of their own still.
Five-finger discount. Cincinnati Reds' pitcher Mike Leake was arrested Monday for shoplifting. A second-year Major Leaguer, Leake, who makes $425,000 this year, stole six T-shirts from Macy's valued at $59.88. Not a good moment. He removed the tags from the shirts and tried to slip past security. Even stranger, Reds' manager Dusty Baker won't remove him from his schedule start on Thursday. (Baker is always determined to overpitch young arms.) The positive? Um, in a day and age of athletes living in excess, at least this guy's thrifty, right? At the very least, he might have shown a way for athletes to get through the ...
NFL lockout. We're on Day (insert pathetically high number here) of the NFL lockout, and negotiations are about as dismal as the projected average attendance for the WNBA this summer. Don't worry, though, with the government involved, now, I guarantee we'll see pro football again ... in 2012.
Online poker goes kaput? Owners of the three major online poker websites — PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Absolute Poker — were indicted on Friday with charges of bank fraud, illegal gambling and money laundering. Some fear these charges could have a chain reaction throughout the poker world, including, but not limited to, destroying the World Series of Poker. Roughly 60 percent of the entrants in last year's Main Event qualified through online outlets. This could all be catastrophic for the poker industry and even the city of Las Vegas, which has a lot invested in the WSOP. It's a bad situation, but if thousands of Americans are no longer able to spend the late hours of the night gambling online, that might not be such a bad thing.
Three-peat for Dwight. Orlando center and everyone's favorite freak athlete Dwight Howard became the first player in NBA history to win three straight Defensive Player of the Year awards. When he was given the award on Monday, Howard thanked his teammates ... for playing such poor defense that it allowed him to get help-side blocks. He was joking (right?), and it was pretty funny. His teammates should've thanked him for swatting so many balls out of bounds rather than tapping it to them to keep possessions, or maybe that he can be arguably the most talented big man in the league but not be able to take over games when it matters.
Wait, that was reverse of making it positive. Maybe my attitude needs a restrictor plate.
Sports editor Bryce Evans never officially raced cars but was voted “Fastest Driver” in his high school year book.
