Some call it the most exciting two minutes in sports. That can be debated, but the one thing that's certain is that it's the only two minutes in sports that actually takes just two minutes. The final plays of basketball games can take 10; the last drive of a football game (at least on TV) can take nearly as long as that. In soccer, it seems like the last two minutes is only two minutes, but then they add more time on once it's done. Timeouts, commercials, stopped clocks — it's all dead time that, well, adds time.

Not at Churchill Downs, though.

In the Kentucky Derby, they start, stop, win and lose all in a two-minute stretch (give or take about six seconds). Done. End of story. See you again next year.

It takes longer to mix a mint julep. Really, it took me longer to come up with that joke about mixing a mint julep.

For some reason, it's always struck me as odd that we spend so much time hyping up something that, a year ago, took place for all of 2 minutes and 4.45 seconds. I mean, even if you don't count all the hoopla from the week prior, there was still about eight hours of TV coverage Saturday.

So, this got me thinking about other really short things in sports — and, no, this isn't going to be a running list of athletes with Napoleon complexes or a short (pun intended) biography on Bob Costas. No, I'm talking about those quick, exciting things in sports that seem to be over faster than JaMarcus Russell's NFL career.

Here's a list ...

The Olympic 100-meter dash. This is actually a lot like the Kentucky Derby, in that most people only pretend to care when it's about three days away from taking place. Then, once it's all over, we say, “That was neat,” and go back to watching baseball. Although, people fighting for the title of “Fastest Man Alive” is pretty cool. It's basically the most primitive (and awesome) bragging right an athlete can have. And, when your name's Usain Bolt, it makes it even cooler.

The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. OK, this one actually takes way too long, but if you watch it with more than four other people, I guarantee someone will make a comment about how wasteful, glutinous and disgusting it is before the dudes are even three dogs deep, which basically ruins the fun of it. So, if you're speaking in terms of how quickly you are excited about it — and how quickly that excitement goes away — then this is a fast one.

The NBA Developmental League. Oh, they still have that? Never mind. What about the ...

XFL. Yeah, that one didn't work out too well. While it was entertaining watching each game's opening (where two people ran the length of the field and basically clobbered each other when they met in the middle, you know, instead of having a boring, old-fashioned coin toss), I'm still amazed they were actually able to get players to sign up. I mean, there was actually a guy who went from XFL MVP to starting quarterback for an NFL team within a year (Tommy Maddox).

(Note: While I was trying to think of another joke, Animal Kingdom won the Kentucky Derby. I almost missed it while Googling “He Hate Me.”)

The MLB season (if you're a fan of Kansas City, Toronto, Houston, Washington or San Diego). I mean, once the first pitch is thrown on Opening Day, you have to feel like it's already over for you, right?

Honorable mention: Sidney Crosby's 2010-11 season, Alex Ovechkin's playoff career, LeBron James' pursuit of becoming the NBA's G.O.A.T., Johan Santana's time as a dominating pitcher, Mark Prior's ... uh, I still can't talk about it, Jim Tressel's sweater vest being a symbol of integrity, the time before Albert Pujols ends up with the Cubs (I can dream, can't I?), and the time it took for me to think of a way to incorporate Mother's Day into this column ...

Don't forget to call your mom today. It'll take much longer than two minutes, but it's the least you can do.

Sports editor Bryce Evans would like to wish a happy Mother's Day to his mom, his beautiful wife and all other moms everywhere.