Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world's only daily column that's here with your Monday morning dose of comic relief from all this political doom and gloom.
Folks, it's been a long election season, and, at this point, if you're not convinced the world is ending, you're not paying attention. So let's lighten the mood just a bit.
We're Summit Up, and we approved this message:
We've decided that from now on, we're going to answer all questions like a politician, partly because it's funny and partly because we are listening to the candidates so much on TV and on the radio that it's hard not to start sounding like them.
Go ahead, let's try it. Ask us a question.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: OK, here goes. Summit Up, what are you doing this weekend?
SUMMIT UP: That's a great question and an important one. And we WILL do something this weekend. But let us take a step back and answer a broader question: what are we all doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend, we will do something comprehensive and robust, yet productive and with an eye to our future.
MSUR: But what are you doing?
SU: Our plan is threefold. First, it will be relaxing. Second, it will be enjoyable. Finally, we will ensure it is cost-effective so that we continue to strengthen our economy and avoid growing our deficit. Four weeks ago, we said we'd do something and we did. This weekend will be no different.
MSUR: Brilliant, you've got our vote.
SU: Why thank you, but before you start fact-checking us, we must admit that we stole this little gem from a friend who says she also borrowed the material from an unidentified meme.
That's about all we've got for you today folks. Enjoy your Monday.