Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world's only daily column that's trying very hard not to get ourselves blown up this fine first day of the new year.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Say what?
SUMMIT UP: No, you do not need reading glasses. You read that correctly. The correct question would be why, exactly, are we --the utterly harmless writers of a silly newspaper column living a healthy distance away from any land mine-riddled conflict zones or particularly explosive ex-boyfriends - concerned about getting ourselves blown up?
And the answer to that question is that, apparently, there is the odd stick of dynamite still lying around Summit County, like undiscovered Easter eggs left behind by the miners who graced these hills before us. Perhaps they thought it would be funny to deafen the unfortunate hiker who happened to be passing by their dig site at just the wrong moment generations hence. Maybe they stowed their extra dynamite away for safekeeping, and just forgot to take it with them. Anyway, whatever the reason, the fact is we have it on the authority of the Summit County sheriff that sticks of undetonated TNT are periodically discovered around these parts. So, ya know, be careful where you picnic.
On an entirely separate, but equally explosive note, how 'bout them Broncos? With our donkeys in the top slot heading into the postseason we're not even ashamed to admit to the increasingly vivid dreams we've been having, starring Peyton Manning (with Demaryius Thomas in the occasional light-footed supporting role) over the last few weeks. If anyone can take us all the way, it's going to be No. 18.
Well, folks that's about all we've got for you today. We'll leave you with our regular bit of Monday advice: Eat it. Don't Tweet it.