Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world's only daily column that is just raring to find someone to be our Valentine.
We consider ourselves a rather comely bunch. If you're into peeps who have a constant squint (we spend hours upon hours staring at computer screens), humped backs that reminiscent of that ol' fellow in Victor Hugo's classic novel (we're chained to our desks like calves being prepped as veal) and wit that rivals the great literary minds of the 20th century, we're the group for you.
MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Really, 'wit that rivals the greatest literary minds of the 20th century?' Don't you think that you're getting a little ahead of yourselves?
SUMMIT UP: Ahead of ourselves? You, our loyal readers, have witnessed firsthand our daily outpouring of near genius that is this column.
MSUR: Alright, we'll give you that occasionally you come up with something decent, but then again, even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.
SU: Wow, tough room today. It appears that we're looking for love in all the wrong places as Johnny Lee used to sing. With that, we're out. Have a good Valentine's Day.