Summit Up 12-22-11: Home of the Summit Up Fruitcake
Ryan Summerlin December 21, 2011
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s feeling nutty as a fruitcake today, whatever that means. We love to joke about fruitcake, as we did just the other day (or was it yesterday?), writing that we were launching fruitcakes onto I-70 with an old inner tube.We were kidding, of course. For one thing, it would be highly irresponsible of us to launch anything onto the highway, be it fruitcakes, marmot livers or even huge, congealed blobs of frozen green bean casserole left over from Thanksgiving we found in the freezer. (Not a true story, thankfully.)Anyway, we came back from our lunch break Wednesday to find a special little package on our desk: A Ziplok bag with the words “Summit Up Fruitcake” written on it, and a small, foil-wrapped parcel within. We were just about to open it up and try it when Santa Claus walked into the lobby of the Summit Up Central Corporate Headquarters with his reindeer, Dancer. (We are not fabricating this information.) After talking to Santa about the different subspecies of reindeer and some of the challenges they face with climate change, we came back in and tried the fruitcake.Not bad! It was delivered to us by the fabulous Gail Westwood, who also promised to bring over a “piece of pudding” for us to try, “when it arrives from England.” This in reponse to some shameless haikus we wrote in her honor in Monday’s column.Wow! Thanks Gail! You’ve changed our minds about fruitcake – this stuff was pretty good! Dense as a neutron star, bursting with flavor and full of wholesome goodness, we couldn’t help but break out into a spontaneous medley of every Christmas carol we’ve ever known the moment we tried it.Then we loaded the rest of it into an old inner tube and shot it onto I-70. Sorry! Leopard can’t change his spots! And honey badger don’t give a crap!***T’other day we wrote of a man named Sarge who got hurt in Summit Cove and how he and his wife, Janny, were looking for the pizza guy who helped him out so they could thank him. Due to a glitch in the manner in which the ink on the page was arranged to create certain numerals, the phone number was wrong. If you are the angel-alerted Summit Cove pizza guy, try this number: (970) 468-8679.***Well folks, we’re just three days away from Christmas and also right in the thick of Chanukah (Day 2), so shake out yer hosannahs, fire up the yule menorah and git yer ya-ya’s out!Whatever that means.Ciao.