Summit Up 3-16-13: Is That Your Woolly Mammoth?
March 16, 2013
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that wants to know if anyone else would be interested in having a woolly mammoth for a pet.
Apparently, some biologists have been busy lately and are now announcing the latest trend to sweep through the lab – de-extinction. At a recent convention in Washington, D.C., scientists discussed the possibility of bringing various extinct species back to life, including the North American passenger pigeon, the Tasmanian tiger and yes, that’s right, woolly mammoths.
The question that’s on our minds is, did these guys never watch “Jurassic Park” ? It was that movie in t he early 90s when Jeff Goldblum and Newman from “Seinfeld” created an island utopia filled with dinosaurs and then were promptly chased, hunted and devoured. Something like that. It’s been a while.
Anyway, the point was that you shouldn’t mess with nature. Also, you shouldn’t wander around a dinosaur preserve in a storm when the electric fence power might go out, or split up the group or have only one means of escape from an island. That movie had a lot of lessons.
Moral quandry and possibility of being messily devoured aside, we suppose it might be kinda cool to have a woolly mammoth for a pet. We imagine they will quickly become the latest vogue pets for celebrities and likely soon have miniature variations that fashionistas can carry around in their purses. Eventually they’ll start their own version of the Westminster dog show and start to trace their lineages back to various frozen carcasses in northern Siberia. Who knows, mabe the next presidential inauguration will include a salute from a line of woolly mammoths. It will certainly be a sight to see from the back of our pet pteradactyl. We’re going to name him Pete.