Summit Up 3-30-13: Holiday animals and lots of chocolate
Ryan Summerlin March 30, 2013
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is gearing up for Easter by testing how much chocolate it can consume in one sitting. We suppose we should be honing our egg-finding skills, but we figure we can train some dogs or some kids to do that. And those chocolate bunnies aren’t going to nibble on themselves.
Speaking of Easter, we’ve got some Easter greetings coming in all the way from Vermont. Freda and Joe Nieters wish all their good friends in Summit County a very Happy Easter. The “Flying Fossil” competed in Vermont’s Senior Olympic Games. “There was not much competition,” Freda says. “I won!”
Well we are very impressed by that news, because we’re not sure we could win any type of athletic competition right now, what with all the chocolate. Even without the added chocolate weight, we’re pretty sure Freda could hold her own against us in the pool. Way to go, Freda!
All this talk of chocolate animals has got us thinking. What’s the deal with the Easter rabbit, anyway? Has anyone managed to figure out why a rabbit was the chosen one to represent this holiday, particularly one with such an emphasis on eggs? Why not a chicken? “The Easter Hen” has a nice ring to it. Plus she could fly, which would make her much more like Santa Claus than a random rabbit. Not that we have anything against the rabbit, we just like to pontificate on deep themes while we’re munching on our milk chocolate.
In fact, we have rather fond Easter rabbit-related memories. There was that great song about Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail, not to mention plenty of plush bunnies stuffed into Easter baskets to cuddle while munching upon their chocolate brethren. Actually, it seems pretty cool to have an animal represent a holiday. So why aren’t there more of them? Where is Baldy, the Bald Eagle who brings the joy of Fourth of July to all the little boys and girls? Shouldn’t there be a Labor Day Leopard, Memorial Day Marmot, or President’s Day Platypus? We would definitely buy a box of dark chocolate Arbor Day Aardvarks. Just think of all the marketing opportunities!
If you think about it, holiday animals are a lot like mascots. We’ve been seeing a lot of mascots dancing and flipping around the basketball court lately, some more gracefully than others. Although, we have to admit that it would be a lot easier to do a somersault in a bear or cougar costume than something round and bulky like an artichoke. That’s right, we said artichoke, which is the official mascot of the Scotttsdale Community College. If you think that’s strange, U.C.-Santa Cruz celebrates its mascot, Sammy, the banana slug. We doubt there’s much flipping going on with that one.
There are plenty of strange mascots around the country to choose from, as the Internet is so helpful in showing us. Take the St. Louis College of Pharmacy mascot, for instance. In 1993 they got rid of their dinosaur Rex (like Rx, see?) and replaced him with … we’re not sure. Some kind of furry-looking man with pointy ears and sharp teeth, a sort of mix between the Hulk and Dr. Jekyll’s evil twin Mr. Hyde. His name is Eutetic, and he is shown in a lab coat, holding a mortar and pestle.
North Carolina School of the Arts run onto the court with a Fighting Pickle by their side, while Delta State University decided to go with the Fighting Okra. Stanford took the plant aspect even further by choosing a tree as their mascot. Not any specific tree, just a tree. Other schools, such as Western Kentucky University, decided that just a single color is good enough for them, in this case, Big Red (not the gum). We’re not sure exactly what goes into choosing a mascot, but it seems like it might have a lot to do with what somebody is eating at the time. So where are the Fighting Cheeseburgers? The Crazy Cuppa Joe? The almighty Slice of Cheesecake?
Life is full of crazy questions, and sometimes they truly can’t be answered. We suggest more chocolate.