Liddick: How Greenpeace stole Christmas
January 2, 2014
On the threshold of Christmas, it's time for the annual Grinning Grinch award, given to the group whose ad demonstrates the most sociopathic use of what the ancient Besançon carol called "the Crowning of the Year." This year's "Grinchie" goes to Greenpeace, an organization which, when not saving whales, is dedicated to the proposition that we all need to drive golf carts powered by solar cells or windmills, the latter preferably attached to the roof of said vehicle and made out of neoprene, to avoid any possibility of damage to passing birds.
We have to take these steps and do much more, to stop anthropogenic global warming — the theory du jour among many in the capitalism-hating Left. For those who have been living under a rock for the past 10 years, APG is the questionable theory that modern society has been responsible for baking the planet through emission of various gases produced by commerce. It demands that the world's developed economies, whose emissions have actually been declining, be penalized so that developing economies may continue to engage in galloping pollution since their emissions somehow do not contribute to the problem.
Greenpeace's offering is an Internet ad featuring a bedraggled and muddy Santa Claus, sending out an "urgent message" to kiddies everywhere from an ill-lit and apparently semi-submerged bunker somewhere in the Arctic. Blaming a warming world for the destruction of the Arctic environment, he gravely intones that day-to-day life has become "intolerable and impossible, and there may be no alternative but to cancel Christmas." Later, he warns the viewer of "the possibility of an empty stocking, forevermore."
It's hard to decide what is the most offensive part of this is. A singularly important objection might be that Santa Claus is not Christmas. If his workshops flood; if his warehouses sink; if every present is soaked or spoiled; if the Jolly Old Elf himself is forced to switch poles in search of more frigid climes; this will not "cancel Christmas." Christmas is much more than the familiar avarice-drenched festival of commerce featuring a shower of stuff drawn from the seemingly bottomless bag carried by the human cornucopia made familiar by 19th century cartoonist Thomas Nast. It is, as Dr. Seuss's Grinch eventually discovers and Pope Francis already knows, "A little bit more."
But that "little bit" is an impenetrable truth to the left. Remember, these are people who are working diligently to eliminate any traces of god from the public life of a country whose architects believed that basic human rights to life, liberty and property were bestowed by the "Creator;" one shouldn't expect them to be reasonable, or even rational.
More grating than their confusion about Christmas is the enormous hubris of the eco-mongering Left. Recall that the APG crowd conspired to conceal data that might have caused people to doubt their computer models. And when it became increasingly obvious that these models couldn't even accurately predict the present, they resorted to ever-more-complex systems of deferents and epicycles, or they simply lied.
One example is the oft-heard cry that "the Earth is warming faster than ever!" when even data presented by the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Anglia shows no warming whatsoever in the past 17 years, and climate fluctuation well within the norm for warming and cooling cycles since measurement began in earnest in the late 19th century. To explain away this "inconvenient truth," die-hard APG global warmers now assert that somehow, the extra therms are being stashed in the deep oceans, to emerge when we least expect it. Call it the "Pacific Rim" theorem.
In pursuit of their ultimate goal — halting all production of anything, everywhere, forever — they've now resorted to threatening children. The operating theory of Leftist ecotopians seems to be "You aren't doing what we say, so we're going to stab Christmas in the eye while the kiddos watch." Nothing could speak more eloquently to their self-righteousness and their monomaniacal dedication to a cause they see as so great, so perfect that those who disagree must be silenced and punished — the sooner and more brutally, the better.
Don't take my word for it. Watch the video. Make sure the kids are in bed. And whatever you do, resist the urge to sign the attached petition. It wants more personal information than Obamacare. But by all means, tell Greenpeace what you think of their giftwrapped little sleazeball.
"Merry Christmas" might be a good opening. It'll drive them crazy.
Morgan Liddick lives in Summit County.
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