10 good reasons to spare that tree
Summit County, CO ColoradoFor those of you who haven’t yet taken down your Christmas tree, help is on the way. No, I don’t mean physical help in hauling it out to the dump. I mean emotional support when your friends and family start nagging you because it’s Valentine’s Day and those Hallmark Keepsake ornaments are still busy beeping and twinkling among the faded branches. My all-time record for leaving the Christmas tree up was April. It wasn’t because I was being lazy – well, to be honest, maybe it was – but mainly, I left it up because I liked it so much. It was pretty; my friends all came over to admire it on the first day of spring. I didn’t think of myself as lazy; rather, I was way ahead of the game for next year.It was only when my cat, the notorious Scaramouche (of whom I’ve written before in these pages) suddenly noticed that the tree was still up and started taking a whack at my heirloom blown-glass ornaments that I finally took the tree down, much to my regret.After all, we’re supposed to keep Christmas in our hearts the whole year through. So why shouldn’t we keep it in our living rooms, too? After I read that one of my favorite people, Harpo Marx, kept his tree up all year for his four kids, I realized that I was in elite company. So instead of being ashamed of myself, I came up with my very own top 10 list of darned good reasons you should keep your tree up.
1) Looks good – all year round!And it serves as a centerpiece for all your other holiday entertaining as well. For instance, throw a white sheet over it for your Halloween party and voila! Giant ghost! Throw an orange sheet over it – and you’ve got the Great Pumpkin! And don’t forget – branch-bobbing for apples! Just don’t forget to provide protective eyewear for your guests.2) It shows the kids what Christmas every day REALLY looks like Be honest. How many times have you heard the kids say, “I wish it were Christmas every day!” Well now you can show them the true meaning of Christmas – all the trappings without the presents! You and your family can pretend you’re in Whoville halfway through the cartoon, after the Grinch took all the gifts but before Cindy Lou Who caught him messing with the decorations. You can even join hands around the tree every morning and sing “Fabu Foray, Dabu Doray,” if it helps.3) If it’s an artificial tree, you can show off to your environmentally-conscious friends that you didn’t kill a real tree last Christmas
And after all, isn’t that what an artificial tree is really for?4) If it’s a real tree, you can show off to your staunch conservative friends that you don’t buy into all that “tree hugging hippy” crap.And after all, isn’t that what a real tree is for?4) All those dust bunnies that usually scurry under the bed will have somewhere else to go now, where you can get at ’emAnd not just dust bunnies! Your Christmas tree will help absorb not only food odors, but all kinds of environmental pollutants, including the smoke from whatever you happen to be smoking – which may come in handy if uninvited guests happen to drop in.5) Branches make a great back-scratcher for single people
Yes, I know, this one sounds lame. But trust me, it works.6) Gives the dog an alternative to the toilet as a drinking bowlJust make sure to add more water when he runs out.7), 8), 9) and 10) It’s too damn much trouble taking it down and putting it up again next year.Alright, I cheated on the last four reasons. After all, if I’m lazy enough to keep my tree up all year, I’m lazy enough to cheat on a top 10 list.
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