Acting like a OJackass1 |

Acting like a OJackass1

Reid Williams

An officer on routine patrol through the parking lot of a Keystone-area lodge spotted a man hiding behind a parked car. The officer activated his emergency lights and the man took off running. 3He appeared to be carrying a rowing machine,² the report states.

The officer pursued in his patrol car. The man dropped the rowing machine and kept running, but the officer finally caught him.

3I was playing OJackass,1² the man said. 3Haven1t you seen the television show OJackass1? I wanted to slide down the stairs and pretend this was a canoe.²

The officer asked why the man had to take the machine outside, instead of playing 3canoe² inside. The man, a Keystone employee, had no answer. The officer determined the rowing machine came from inside the lodge and arrested the man for second-degree burglary.

Criminal redecorating

A man asked police to meet him at a convenience store in the Breckenridge area. When the officer arrived, the man said he wanted to report a trespass and then led the officer to his trailer. The man explained he had visited the trailer (not his residence) that day and discovered someone had rearranged the furniture.

The man completed a witness statement and suggested two men who might be responsible. Despite the leads, the officer listed the case as closed.

Inmates inking

Tattooing isn1t illegal, but it is prohibited for inmates of the Summit County Jail. Ramshackle skin art with unsanitary materials is attributed with spreading hepatitis and the HIV virus.

So when inmates informed jail deputies tattooing was in progress in a jail pod where contraband was discovered a week before, deputies investigated. As a deputy entered the area and passed one inmate, he grunted a warning signal to other inmates. When the deputy reached the suspect cell, he saw three inmates moving quickly, as if to hide what they had just been doing. Two inmates moved toward the front of the cell, while the third pulled up the pants of his uniform.

The deputy noticed the recently re-pantsed inmate also was hiding something in his hands and trying to shield the toilet with his body. The deputy asked what was in his hands, and the inmate threw it into the toilet and reached for the flush button. The deputy stopped him; in the toilet he found an ink-stained napkin, a staple, string and a toothpaste tube cap filled with ink.

The tattooing inmates were reassigned to different cells and warned about the health dangers of their activity. The information was forwarded to the jail captain to determine if charges of obstructing justice and tampering with evidence should be filed against the warning-grunting inmate.

Reid Williams can be reached at (970) 668-3998 ext. 237 or

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