After these years, I need life to balance itself in my favor |

After these years, I need life to balance itself in my favor

Summit Daily file photoAndrew Gmerek

Life is unfair. Now I’m not stupid enough to be just realizing this at my age. Besides, my father, who was no fool, taught me this lesson long ago.But sometimes, when you least expect it, the idea smashes into you like a drunken snowboarder out of control on the slopes.My oldest daughter Isabell started school this week and as she bravely marched her way into the classroom, finally letting go of my hand and taking a seat on the rug next to her teacher, it struck me that life is unfair.Look at it this way. It took my wife and I more than eight years to finally get our two kids. We put forth an immense amount of time and effort. We struggled, fought, cried, waited, fought with each other, waited some more and finally celebrated. And now, after less than half the time it took to get one, one of them is up, out of the house and starting school.

Granted it is only preschool, and it is just two mornings a week, but let’s face it, she’s moving on. The next thing I know she’ll be heading out the door with hardly a backward glance. Then she’ll be married and some little people out there will be calling me grandpa.So I figure that if I put eight years into getting this kid, the least I should get out of the deal is eight full years of her being young, cute and my baby girl. Where is the justice? Where is my fair share? Where is the sense to any of it?To make matters worse, there is now an odd silence in the house that seems to scream, “Guess what? You’re getting left behind” when Isabell is not around.

Even with a 2-year-old still hanging out at the house keeping us plenty busy, something seems missing the moment Isabell leaves.After spending my first morning without my daughter, I now understand why my mom acted the way she did all those years we were growing up.During my childhood, my dad was always poking fun of my mom for crying when we reached milestones in our young lives. She cried when my brother, sister and I no longer needed our hands held when we crossed the street. She mourned when she sent us to school for the first time, and she came down with the blues when we learned to dress ourselves. No wonder there were times when she would, on a whim, keep us home from school just to play.

(She was, and still is, a great mom.)For those out there who think I might be overreacting and who believe I should be counting the blessings a little bit of peace and quiet can bring, I say “posh.”I’ve had enough peace and quiet to last me a lifetime, and I know that when my kids are grown and gone away, I’ll have more than enough of it again to choke on. Which leads me to believe that eventually, in the not too distant future, calls will be placed to school and work and everyone will be taking a Well Day. We will all be too well to do anything else but spend time as a family.And that should, at least in part, balance this life a little bit more in my favor.

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