Biff America: A solution we can agree on |

Biff America: A solution we can agree on

Jeffrey Bergon
Breckenridge, CO Colorado

There are thoughtful, intelligent and informed people who think I’m full of it.

I’m OK with that.

There are problems and there are solutions. I think most of us can agree upon what the problems are that the world now faces; where we differ is what the solutions might be.

A woman’s right to choose, same-sex marriages, separation of church and state, global warming, security vs. individual liberties, taxation and social services are hugely polarizing topics in this country.

Of course, I have my own ideas on how best to deal with many of these challenges and social issues: Here are a few.

Let’s take same sex marriages. Rather than argue, legislate, create ballot initiatives and file lawsuits, I say we leave it up to God. Instead of telling couples in love they cannot marry, allow them to marry. If God doesn’t like it, he can hit them with lightning. It has always amazed me that those who profess such belief in the Almighty are convinced that God is unable to take care of him/herself and thus needs them to do his bidding.

Now on to world health and hunger: How about we require all of us who have more money than we need give some to the people who would sell their own kidney for a loaf of bread. I read a study where it was determined that if every American gave $30, it could provide basic health care to the world’s poorest.

And here’s my solution to help solve the problem of deteriorating our public schools: Pay the school teachers as much as we pay the politicians who denounce the quality of our teachers. And while we’re at it, let’s require all those parents who complain about the public education system to spend as much time a week with their own children as do their children’s teachers

These proposed solutions of mine could very well be naïve, simplistic and wrong. I will admit that; I’m a freak. But I do have one idea that I’m absolutely certain would help cure many of aforementioned maladies. Unlike those previously mentioned knee-jerk solutions, I don’t believe this hypothesis is even up for any reasonable debate: Hunger, pollution, poverty, financial collapse, territorial aggression, public education, immigration could all be lessened if we as a country ” but especially as a planet ” would stop having so many babies.

It is simple math: With limited space, limited natural resources and unlimited population, something has to give. Actually, two things have to give: puritanical government and an out-of-touch church.

Many conservative were angered when the Obama administration renewed support for the United Nations Population Fund, whose mission statement reads, in part: “UNFPA supports countries in using population data for policies and programmes to reduce poverty and to ensure that every pregnancy is wanted, every birth is safe, every young person is free of HIV/AIDS, and every girl and woman is treated with dignity and respect.” To be clear, they also provide birth control and post-abortion care.

Reagan and G.W. Bush cut funding (which to me is like throwing the baby out with the bath water); Clinton and Obama restored it.

Equally frustrating is the Catholic Church’s stance on population control. I totally understand and support the church’s right to take a stand on abortion, but to maintain the only annointed form of birth control is the rhythm method seems prejudiced against those of us who can’t dance. Even the Mormons are more liberal in that respect.

I friend of mine just gave birth to her second child, with a C-section delivery at a Catholic hospital. She and her husband asked the doctor if he could tie her tubes after delivery. He said it would be safe, efficient and convenient to do so, but the Catholic hospital would not let him perform that procedure. Does the Pope know the planet is getting crowded?

If you want to bring a child into the world and you can love, care and provide for them, that is wonderful; if not leave the task to those who can. In the meantime, it’s fun to keep practicing …

Jeffrey Bergeron, under the alias of Biff America, can be seen on RSN TV and read in several newspapers and magazines. He can be reached at Biff’s book “Steep, Deep and Dyslexic” is available from local book stores or from

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