Boot Gordon: Beware the moose |

Boot Gordon: Beware the moose

My brother, who lived for years on the Swan River just east of Big Forks, Montana – which is big moose country – always warned me to be wary of them. “Their brains are the size of peas, and they’re not to be trusted,” he said.

Well, I have always taken his advice and been wary of men or moose whose brains are that small, but recently I was caught unaware.

My dog Scout and I were on our morning walk when a gigantic moose strode swiftly by – so close I could have touched him. I mean this guy was a huge brownish-black bugger. After he passed, I saw him simply step over the 5-foot fence into the Blue Valley River Ranch Estates.

I gave him the name Dr. Seuss, the Kind-hearted Moose because he easily could have bopped me on my head or scooped me up and thrown me on my neighbor’s greenhouse. In either case I would have been compost.

Why didn’t Scout warn me? I can’t truly vouch what he was thinking (he hasn’t learned to use his cell phone so we can talk at the cellular level) but maybe he thought it was a horse (which he has often seen) with an ugly ski rack.

Anyway my advice is:

>Train your dog to bark at entities other than squirrels.

>While walking, wear your hearing aid.

>Also while walking, watch your “six.”

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