Good fences make good neighbors | SummitDaily.com
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Good fences make good neighbors

REID WILLIAMS

A Silverthorne resident called police to report some criminal mischief. The man explained to the officer that he and his neighbor have had an ongoing dispute about their common property line. Both parties are renters – in a duplex.The man told the officer the neighbors are parking on his side. To prove this, he went to town hall, got blueprints for the properties, then proceeded to spray paint the property line in the driveway. So the rain wouldn’t wash it away, he got some railroad ties and put those down the line.That, of course, prompted one of the neighbors to get out his chainsaw and cut up the railroad ties. That’s when the first man called the cops.The neighbor explained to the officer that he couldn’t find a place to park and the railroad ties were in the way when he came home from a vacation. He also told the officer the property owner had told him he could use the ties for firewood. The officer ticketed him for destruction of private property.A real gentlemanA woman walked into the Breckenridge police department. Officers could tell she was very upset – the crying and the tobacco spit all over her face were major clues.The woman told an officer she was driving north into Breckenridge on Highway 9, came up behind a Subaru and that the Subaru braked suddenly. She said she thought the other driver was trying to tell her not to follow so closely. She said the Subaru turned onto South Park Avenue, which was the way she happened to be heading, and then the driver pulled over, jumped out and quickly approached her car.She asked the man if he had a problem. He did: She was following him too closely, he said. She then told the man there might not be a problem if he was more concerned with his driving than with the chew in his mouth. The man expressed his disagreement with that by unloading the tobacco juice on her face. Even with the license plate number, however, the officer was unable to locate the vehicle and driver.Under the influence – DUI highlightsPeople tell officers the oddest things when they’re backed against the wall. It rarely helps their cause (there’s a reason we have a right to remain silent).– A sheriff’s deputy arrested a man for DUI and was driving him to the medical center for a blood test. The man asked what he was being charged with. The deputy told him, driving under the influence. The man “stated he was probably under the influence, but not alcohol,” the deputy’s report states. The deputy asked what, then, was influencing the man?”Your love,” he said. He still went to jail.– Officers always ask if drivers have any medical conditions that would affect their ability to perform the How Drunk Are You Really? roadside tests. Some people get pretty creative: A woman pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy replied, yes, I have a condition in my eyes caused by living in the tropics and not wearing sunglasses. “Oh, really?” the deputy replied. “Yes,” the woman said, “it resulted in a skin growing over my eyes.” The deputy could see no “skin” over the woman’s eyes and took her to jail.– Drivers try to intimidate officers all the time: “I was molested by a Silverthorne cop years ago and I got her fired,” the female driver told the female Silverthorne officer. “She was just like you (lesbians) that arrested me tonight.” The woman also told the officer she was diabetic, had been drugged by the bartender and that she wasn’t drunk, she just hadn’t eaten all day.


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