Now I’m free from my Catholic guilt, let me talk about Eminem
Being that I was brought up Catholic, it takes a whole lot for me to wish ill on another person. Sure, there have been times during my 42 years when I’ve heard of people so disreputable or crimes so nasty that thoughts of boiling someone in oil or stretching them on a rack sprang to mind. But no matter how evil some people are, I’m still plagued with guilt when these ideas pop into my head.Now, however, things have changed, and I might even say for the better. I have begun to shed my Catholic guilt, and this is due in large part to Pat Robertson, who, some would say, is the poster guy for evangelical Christians everywhere.Since Robertson, a good Christian man, mentioned that certain people should be killed for political reasons, who am I to worry about feeling ill will to others?
(For those that don’t know, Robertson recently suggested on his TV show that the United States “take out” Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.)With my newly discovered freedom now in place, I have to say that it feels good to watch while others, rotten people all, take big falls. Case in point: It seems that the wonder boy of the rapping world, Eminem, has hit on some hard times. And I feel that now is as good a time as any to have a pity party for the poor lad.Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.Yes. Lady Luck has finally tired of Eminem’s witty lyrics that refer to women as hoes, tramps and sluts and, in one of her moods, she crushed the little bugger good.It seems that his problems began with a down turn in concert ticket sales. Before he cancelled his Anger Management concert tour for other reasons that I will soon mention, he was playing to half empty houses.
Could it be that the pimply-faced male adolescents that make up most of his audience finally discovered Clearasil and started dating girls? And that once they discovered that women are really cool, maybe they couldn’t figure out what the heck this joke was singing about?Or could it be that the human brain can only listen to so much garbage before it simply shuts itself down?For years now the music pushers and even the critics have been telling us that Eminem has real talent. They say he is just playing a character that is rude, sexist, racist and violent. And for years lots of people believed this odd package of lies. (Let’s face it, someone had to be buying this stuff or this guy would have faded away years ago.)Dwindling attendance, however, isn’t Eminem’s only problem. It appears the rapper recently checked himself into a treatment center for addiction to sleeping medication, and that’s the reason he cancelled the rest of his tour.
Poor baby. Maybe his mommy stopped tucking him in at night.As a father of two daughters, I wondered if someday I was going to have to yank some grease ball out of his car and teach him respect for one of my daughters after hearing Eminem blasting from his stereo.But now, with continuing good luck, I might never have to hear about anything like Eminem again – except when my daughters ask for those little candies that melt in your mouth and not in your hand.Andrew Gmerek writes a Friday column. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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