Secrets of spiritual sex reach the Summit |

Secrets of spiritual sex reach the Summit

Summit Daily/Reid Williams

FRISCO – It’s your turn to explore all of your desires.Your lover enters the room, which is adorned with candles, fresh flowers and the thrumming of rhythmic music, and leads you to the bathtub; you both slide into warm water smelling of jasmine.You relax as your beloved pays particular attention to washing your feet and massaging every inch of your body. The touch invites you to tune into the pure pleasure of the moment. You notice the sensual strokes on your palm, the side of your little finger and the base of your spine.Your lover does whatever you want, because it is your night. Another night, you will attend to your lover’s desires.And so your tantric sex practice builds.Transformative tantraLearning tantric sex transformed Dan Powers’ life.Last August, he traveled from Frisco to San Diego for a tantric workshop with his girlfriend Ellie Pope, who has studied tantric sex for two years. In a private home draped with soft, sheer fabric and art from India, the couple learned to connect deeply with each other.They practiced gazing into each other’s eyes and focusing on different sensations as they experimented with kneading, light scratches and feathery touches. They joined a circle where women sat on the inside and men sat on the outside, and as the circle rotated, each person took turns sensually massaging a new partner while maintaining eye contact and projecting pure love.”I was a little uncomfortable at first, until I understood what it’s about,” Powers said. “It’s not about performing sexually for somebody. It’s a very spiritual loving and connection.”

A connection that changed Powers’ perspective on women.”I don’t look at women as sex objects anymore,” he said. “Every women I get to know, I know on a more personal level.”He’s also more comfortable with his sexuality – and with staying present.”Men are always fantasizing about the next woman or a past relationship,” he said. “Now I can have sex longer, and I’m concentrating on the woman I’m with. I’m more in love with my girlfriend than I have been with any other woman.”Opening to loveTantric sex offered Pope a way to connect with her body and deepen her connection with her partner. For her, it wasn’t just about sex.”Sex was a fantastic effect,” Pope said. “The biggest thing was to see people for who they are and let my guard down. People in the workshop were the most warm, trustworthy, loving group of people. “When you really look into somebody’s eyes, you start to see they’re just a person too. They have their stuff and I have my stuff, and I appreciate them fully for who they are and see every part of them as perfect. It’s made it much easier to get to know people and let them get to know me because I’m used to being seen for who I am, and in the experience of being accepted for who I am, I trust the world more. When you really connect, aggression melts away.”Pope still uses caution and common sense in choosing whom to open up to. She trusts her intuition, which she says has heightened through tantric practices. “It has been one of the most profound experiences of my life,” she said. “It’s really given me who I am.”

And it’s allowed her to share with her partner in a more honest, profound way.”We have this habit of resisting feelings,” she said. “We try to pretend we’re not mad at our partner, and we jump into bed, and then we wonder why we’re not experiencing these highs. It’s like we have this lie between couples. We’re not really being with our partner. Tantric practice is so much more about love; it pulls in so much more love.”Make love, not war?In a society that has repressed sexuality to an extent where it often comes out in violence or pornography, tantric sex offers a pathway to peace.”There’s a really big element of accepting people for where they are and celebrating what is. When you do that, the truth of who people are starts to emerge, and you become more generous and loving. It spills out into the world,” Pope said.Powers thinks Americans live in a pornographic society, and if people engaged in sex in a more open and free environment, they’d be more relaxed about everything.”As we learn how to heal, love and care for each other, it sets up a vibration for the entire planet to receive this gift,” said Shakti Joy, a tantric teacher on the Front Range.The spirit of sexTibetan Buddhists consider tantra to be the most accelerated path to spiritual enlightenment, according to Steve and Lokita Carter on their website

Tantra includes everything from making love to cooking and working. The sexual side of tantra has become popular not only because people want to become better lovers but also because sexual intimacy is one of the easiest ways to reach an altered state of consciousness, or spiritual experience, the Carters said.”At the peak moment of sexual union, our minds disappear, we become truly one with each other, and enter into timelessness and divine union. Tantra teaches us how to reach those states again and again, and effortlessly, in our love life and our daily lives,” they said. Tantra teaches that spirituality resides in the body, which people can use to attain spiritual clarity and fulfillment.”What we found is that a simple moment like gazing into each other’s eyes for a little longer than usual can be transformed into a spiritual moment if done with awareness,” the Carters said. “If practiced many times a day, these moments bring around a new outlook on life and what is really important. This new awareness can lead to more intimacy, making our sex life better and more fulfilling.”Together, we are inspired to new delights by practicing skills such as conscious communication, creating a sacred space and exploring the interplay of our male and female sides. Practicing giving and receiving pleasure and honoring each other as representations of the god and goddess opens us to profound learning. We become infused with ever more consciousness and playfulness – and those old cobwebs that build up in long-term committed relationships just get blown away. Such are the practices and benefits of tantra.”What is tantra?Tantra is a form of spiritual practice that embraces our life force energy, our sexual energy, as a powerful tool for transformation and increased intimacy with ourselves, our partner and the divine. Tantra is Sanskrit means “weaving,” and in our tantric practice and playtime, we weave together all dualities of our lives – the ecstasy and agony, our male and female aspects, the peaks and valleys – into a balanced, harmonious fabric.- from http://www.ecstaticliving.comKimberly Nicoletti can be reached at (970) 668-3998, ext. 245, or at

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