Steve Mase: I’m right, you’re wrong |

Steve Mase: I’m right, you’re wrong

Steve Mase

Politics are a lot like the real world. Just like in real life, people have opinions and lots of them – liberal, conservative, moderate, religious, socialist, Marxist, anarchist, taxidermist. But unlike in the real world, where there’s a gray area between right and wrong, in politics there is only right and wrong. In the real world you can be in favor of all sorts of things that I disapprove of (soccer, ranch dressing, Velcro, light beer, U2, Canada), and because we live in the great country of America, I acknowledge that you are entitled to that opinion. But in terms of politics, it boils down to one simple truth: I’m right, and you are wrong.

There is no other way to say it, no real way to sugarcoat it – YOU ARE WRONG! In fact, you couldn’t be more wrong. There isn’t even a gray area, so you can’t even be sort of right. Actually, you are wrong to such a degree that you must hate America and are probably looking to destroy it and everything it stands for, which is, of course, everything I stand for. Your opinion demonstrates a fundamental lack of knowledge of current events. Seriously, you must get your news from the drunk guy sitting in the corner of the bar.

While we’re on the subject, your total wrongness leads me to believe that you’re not familiar with any of the wisdom passed down from our Founding Fathers. Right now you should stop reading this and start reading the Declaration of Independence, the Articles of Confederation, the Bill of Rights (not the Bill of Wrongs that you’ve been reading) and the Constitution. And while we’re at it, you should probably watch “Caddyshack” to catch up on the Revolutionary War.

Well, now that I’ve enlightened you we can get on with our lives, liberties and pursuits of happinesses. If for some reason you refuse to see the light, then I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree. So long as you know that you are wrong and terrible person and stupid and ugly and have poor hygiene.

Support Local Journalism

Support Local Journalism

As a Summit Daily News reader, you make our work possible.

Now more than ever, your financial support is critical to help us keep our communities informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having on our residents and businesses. Every contribution, no matter the size, will make a difference.

Your donation will be used exclusively to support quality, local journalism.

For tax deductible donations, click here.

Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User