Summit Up 01-23-11: Where we are basking in Mother Nature’s bounty
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up the world’s only daily column that is totally covered in snow. Seriously. We bet all you millions of Summit Up readers out there had to bust out the super-advanced combination ice scraper-snow sweeper tools we know you all have stashed in your cars for just such an emergency and brush your newspapers off just to read these words.
We jest, of course. Unless you dropped your Sunday SDN in the 4 feet of snow some of Summit County has gotten this week, in which case we might be dead on.
But seriously, folks, look outside! There is so much snow out there! If sand were white, the Sahara Desert would look like Summit County right about now.
Dudes and dudettes, this is a powder week. And in celebration, we were thinking we really need to figure out something to do with all this snow, besides ski on it or fall in it after one too many Shirley Temples as we attempt to prove to our friends that we actually can do the whole Thriller dance.
We could organize an epic snowball war that would put some minor real skirmishes to shame! Breckenridge and Frisco could team up to face off against Silverthorne and Dillon and unincorporated folks could just pick a side!
Or we could stop traffic for a few hours and go sledding (or tubing) down I-70. We could probably make it to Georgetown, at which point we might run out of steam because there’s that lame flat stretch where we gas-misers always have to throw our cars back in drive.
We could probably even build a giant snowman on top of Copper Mountain so tall he could peak over the pass and wave at Vail.
Actually, that last one’s kinda creepy.
OK, yeah, so maybe skiing or riding this awesome powder is the best way to enjoy the snow.
Which brings us to our next point. We’ve found that when carvin’ up the slopes, it’s always best to avoid plowing into things that are not soft and white. Such as trees. Or other people.
Which brings us to our Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!! for today.
A skier, who asked to remain anonymous, had a bad experience out on the snow this week. He writes thusly:
“To the snowboarder who viciously assaulted a skier on Peak 8, Thursday morning January 19, 2011: You brushed by me at high speed on a crowded slope, a choice you made that endangers other people. I called you a name, which you certainly deserved and more. I brushed by you and you raced after me, came from behind catching me unawares. As you passed, you imparted a vicious full strength two handed upper cut to the chin causing bodily injury. The only thing that saved me from high neck injury, paralysis or death was the thick collar on my parka.
“You are one sick guy, and you need help before you kill someone. What you did to me is a criminal felony assault, class three to five and if convicted would bring two to 12 years in prison plus fines, parole and whatever else the court required. This is not trivial. I suggest you get counseling. I am a 69-year-old grandfather, and am grateful that you did not kill me despite your effort to do so. You are sick and a menace to society. And you don’t represent the vast community of snowboarders who are good people and respectful riders.”
Yikes! May a thousand pointy arrows of bad karma find their way to this jerk-wad’s here-and-now! Take it easy out there, folks, please!
And, hey speaking of some crazy stuff going on in the snow, who’s pumped for the 21st annual International Snow Sculpture Championships starting this week in Breckenridge?
All hands go up.
Us too. Definitely get over there (action starts at the Riverwalk Center Tuesday) and check out the mad snow-workmanship going on!
Well, it’s some awesome powder out there people, so get out and dive in. We know we’re going to. Happy Sunday!
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