Summit Up 1-12-10 | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 1-12-10

Eugene T. Maleska

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is still recovering from a bout with the fax machine earlier this morning. Every once in a while, some bureaucratic necessity puts us in front of the fax machine, and a trail of tears always follows. We have all these codes we have to punch in, and special buttons to push and, usually, after waiting a while, the machine grunts once or twice and kicks out a piece of paper with the code “FA” on it. When we look at the bottom for the handy guide to what the various codes mean, we discover “FA” means, simply, “FAIL.”

And then we go back to the drawing board. Why do we ever have to use fax machines in the first place? Sure, they were cool in the ’80s before e-mail, but now it’s like being asked to use a cotton gin or an astrolabe or some other antique piece of equipment.

Simply put, we hate fax machines. And if you ever want to ensure that something you want in the paper won’t get in, be sure to fax it! When people ask for our fax number, we just tell them our fax blew up and that they should e-mail it. We’re over faxing, the same way we’re over the band Journey.

***

OK, so last week we were asking what people thought about having the answers to our crossword puzzle on the day-of or the day-after. Someone we think is named David wrote and said: “I love the answers on the same page. The cheaters need to get some self control or perhaps tear out the answers first.”

OK, there’s one. Travis Gilbertson wrote thusly:

“At this point I’ve been doing the daily crosswords in the Summit Daily for years. Ever since you started putting the answers for the puzzle on the same day’s puzzle upside down, I’ve been forced to put a post-it note over the answers. If I don’t, I can’t help but cheat. Just think how many post-it notes I’d save in a year if you went back to posting the answers the next day… PS: Ever thought about a normal crossword on Sundays as well? The puzzles on Sunday are way too hard for me!”

Good question about Sunday. We put the Sunday New York Times puzzle in there because we thought a lot of people like it, but we can’t really ever get more than half of it done, either, even if we spend hours. Any others out there who want an easier Sunday puzzle? E-mail us at summitup@summitdaily.com and we’ll fax your request to the appropriate bureaucrats!

Also weighing in on the xword question is Ansel Avant, who says;

“I don’t do crossword myself, but some of my English major friends think it’s entertaining to verbally include me in the torture when I’m driving on a road trip. As revenge I offer this solution or two: Always include the the answers to yesterday’s right there, easy to find. Put tiny parts of today’s in ads all through the paper. Some days there could be chunks of 4 or 9 or 16 squares distributed among your sponsors. And other days there could be lots of acrosses or lots of downs. Let those cheaters search the ads if they can’t wait a day. Or you could print the answers in invisible ink: ‘Hey get that candle away from the newspaper in the car you crazy English major!'”

***

We have a Lost Dog Alert! here from Becky, who’s new to the county and whose dog Scout has promptly gotten lost in Dillon Valley. Scout is a 4-year-old greyhound, red-blonde with white on his chest and paws. He’s got a blue-green-brown zig-zag collar with no tags. Scout just moved here from Florida, so he’s not exactly a mountain dog and Becky would very much appreciate it if anyone who sees Scout could call her at (970) 389-4488. There’s a $100 reward, too. He was last seen Sunday afternoon on Alpine Drive in Dillon Valley. Help a hound out, folks!

LATE BREAKING NEWS – SCOUT WAS FOUND!

***

That’s it for today. We’re out, looking for Scout …


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