Summit Up 1-22-11: Taking the day off, goldarnit!
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is taking the day off, sort of. We rummaged around in the archives and found this gem from Jan. 20, 1999. Join us as we take a trip back to yesteryear …
(eerie flashback music)
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that swears it saw the sun over the weekend a few times.
Did anyone else notice that? That, not only did it NOT snow for a couple of days in a row, but that the sun came out and melted things and mucked up the roads and dirtied our cars even more than they were already dirtied.
One of the Summit Up Central Staffers who has the unfortunate distinction of being an eternal optimist (an odd quality in any journalist, to be sure), took it upon himself to wheel into the car-washing place by
Frisco on Sunday. (Note: That car-washing place needs a name, by the way … some kind of identity. We suggest “Rinse-n-Weep” ‘cuz, this being Summit County, the second you pull one micron out of the washing bay, your car will be dirty again.) Anyway, the Staffer knew full well that, just because it was nice and sunny out – perfect car-washing weather to most people in other parts of the country – it only meant he would fall sway to a ridiculous belief that somehow the car would remain clean for, say, 15 minutes after washing it.
The Staffer, of course, was not alone. Tons of people were lined up at Rinse-n-Weep – people with local license plats, people who, ostensibly, know better than to waste eight quarters washing their car in January. But the Staffer was cheered by the sight of all these other optimists, and he went ahead and washed his car anyway.
It was dirty .02 seconds after he left the bay. Still, he felt good about his decision.
And here’s a joke we once heard:
Three guys in a bar: a Texan, a Californian and a Boulderite. They drink, they get crazy.
The Texan grabs a bottle of Tequila, unscrews the top, takes a good swig, and throws the bottle into the air. He then pulls out a .45 pistol and shoots the bottle, spraying Tequila all over everything.
The other patrons at the bar shout, “Hey, why’d you waste that?” The Texan says, “Heck, it’s just Tequila. Where I come from, we got lotsa Tequila.”
The Californian, not to be outdone, whips out a corkscrew and opens a bottle of wine, pours a little bit into a glass, swirls the glass, sniffs and sips the wine, then throws the bottle in the air and shoots it with a little silver pistol.
The patrons again express their displeasure and astonishment at the waste. But the Californian replies, “I’m from Napa. We have plenty of wine.”
The Boulderite borrows bottle opener from the bartender, pops the top off a bottle of Boulder Beer and downs it. He throws the empty bottle into the air, shoots the Californian and the Texan, then catches the falling bottle.
The patrons scream, “Why’d you do that???!!!!”
The Boulderite replies, “I’m from Boulder, we have plenty of Texans and Californians, but I really should recycle this bottle.”
Hmmm … maybe not too PC. Let’s just say the Texan and the Californian were only winged by a paintball gun, shall we? We out.
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