Summit Up 1-26-11: Featuring the state of the summit address by some guy who wandered in off the street looking for free appetizers
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s wondering what a State of Summit County Address would sound like. See, we were listening to President Obama’s State O’ the Union speech last night (well, we’re going to listen to it, but as we write on Tuesday afternoon it hasn’t actually happened yet) and got to thinking that perhaps it’s high time someone did one for the Summit. We’re not sure who would deliver it – one of the county commissioners? A Moose Jaw bartender? Biff America? Us? We’re not sure, but whoever does it, maybe it’d sound like this:”Thank you, thank you.(applause)”Thanks brohammers, dudes and dudettes, shredders and double-plankers. Free-heelers and sledders and sofa surfers. Thank you. I speak to you tonight during what is arguably one of the best ski seasons we’ve had in a long time …(sustained applause)”Thank you. Although I cannot take credit for the awesome snow we’ve been having. That’d be Ullr or Mother Nature or La Nia or whatever – I have no friggin’ idea. But it is epic out there, I think we can agree on that.(sustained applause; standing O)”And since the snow is so good, it’s hard to really think of what else, really, there is to say other than …(consults Summit Daily)”… there’s free pie at Village Inn tonight. Plus $2.50 pints at the Dam Brewery and two-fers at the Quandary Grille and Taddeo’s. And the International Snow Sculpture Championships are underway in Breck – that’s always cool. I dig that!(more applause)”Really, we live in such an awesome place, there’s not much need to be all weirdly partisan or angrily political or any of that. Let’s just let it mellow, shall we? I’m heading up for a few runs right now. Who’s with me?”(exits to wild cheering)There you have it!***Next up is an Angel Alert! Angel Alert! from Katrina in Fairplay, who writes:”I recently bought a sweet 85 AMC Eagle. My front license plate was held on by one screw because I could not get the other bolt off. Someone fixed it for me while I was working and made my Golden Eagle look even better!!!! Thanks for helping me out angel-who-is-stronger-than-me!”Nice! And Katrina, you are truly at one with the world if you can be that stoked about your “new” 85 AMC Eagle!***And here’s a Smarty Pants Alert! Smarty Pants Alert! from NitaLisa Jorgenson going out to Mandy Turner of Dillon, 2008 graduate of SHS, who has again distinguished herself for outstanding academic performance and has been added to the CSU, College of Liberal Arts, Dean’s List for the Fall semester of 2010. Way to go, Miss More!!!”Nice. We love a good Smarty Pants alert cuz it flies in the face of that jaded notion that we’re all surrounded by fools. But if you just eat your greens, do your homework and avoid TV reality shows, you can go on and do pretty well in life. Maybe you’ll give a state o’ the something address yourself some day!We out.
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