Summit Up 1-5-10: Worried about panda cows | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 1-5-10: Worried about panda cows

by Summit Up
In this Dec. 31, 2010 photo, farmer Chris Jessen holds his new "panda cow" named Ben, hours after the rare miniature cow was born in Campion, Colo. The miniature panda cow is the result of genetic manipulation. A white belt encircles the animal's midsection, and the cow has a white face with black ovals around the eyes, giving it a panda-like appearance. The mini-cattle are bred solely as pets. Jessen says panda calves can sell for $30,000. (AP Photo/Loveland Daily Reporter-Herald, Tom Hacker)
AP | Loveland Daily Reporter-Herald

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that thinks it may be high time we take the genetic manipulation equipment away from Colorado farmers before things start getting weird. A few days ago we ran a short Back Page story about this rare “panda cow” being born, but we really feel you’ve got to see this critter to truly appreciate it. According to the skinny we have here, “The miniature panda cow is the result of genetic manipulation. A white belt encircles the animal’s midsection, and the cow has a white face with black ovals around the eyes, giving it a panda-like appearance. The mini-cattle are bred solely as pets. Jessen says panda calves can sell for $30,000.”It’s just not as cool when you find out it was genetically modified, is it? But more than that, it begs the question of what’s next?>A snake bred to have a skin that makes it look like a kitten (a rather long, skinny and slick kitten, but a kitten nonetheless). We’re not sure who would want one of these, but surely the world of genetic modification will have its troublemakers and spammers and the like.>White stallions genetically messed-with so that the faces and URLs of area Realtors are emblazoned on their coats. (Is that what you call a horse’s hair, a “coat?” Or is it “hide?” We’re not exactly rancher types around here, but you get the picture, right?)>Sharks bred to look like seals so they can sneak in and eat up all the seals. (Note: This would take some work on the part of the sharks to convince genetic scientists to do the dirty work for them, but sharks can be mighty persuasive – especially when they catch you skinny-dipping at night in the ocean and want a favor.)>Hippos bred to come out with hides that make them look like WWII zeppelins. Now that’s just plain funny. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that and this all ends with the panda cow. We’ll take two!***OK, still catching up with our holiday mail, here’s an Angel Alert! from Terry Kryshak of Frisco, who writes thusly:”Our special thanks and admiration go out to all the people who helped my ski partner Judy after her crash on Xmas Day at Breck. Special thanks to the doctor and his son who stopped on the run to help and get ski patrol, thanks to Breck ski patroller Kay and her team for the on hill care and transportation to the Breck Medical Center and thanks to the team at the Breck Medical Center, especially James E., Holly and Dr. Wilner. Judy will be back skiing by spring thanks to everyone’s help. Summit County is the best and we’re so blessed to live here.”And here’s another from Margaret Lin of Dillon:”How about an Angel Alert to start off the New Year? I’d like to shout out a big THANK YOU to the person who picked up my skis from the A-Basin parking lot on Christmas Eve afternoon and kindly turned them in to the Lost & Found. (Hubby forgot to strap them onto the car and drove off without them, aaarrgghhh.) If this good deed was done by a local, I’m hoping he/she will see my thank-you here. My beloved powder skis were just bought last year, and I am so grateful they were turned in. Many thanks for honoring the Golden Rule!”And heaven help you, absent-minded hubby! In our experience, that’s not the kind of thing the ladies ever forget. It could be 50 years from now, and she’ll still remind you of that time you spaced her boards at the Basin. The only way to prevent the reminder is to never, ever do or say anything wrong ever again.Good luck with that.We out.


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