Summit Up 10-5-09 | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 10-5-09

the GUM CHEWER
Special to the Daily
ALL |

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s promising, no – vowing, to quit chewing gum. (We’re chewing gum while we write this, by the way.)

Why? It’s always causing problems. Like, falling out of our mouth and disappearing.

And then we’re left fumbling around, patting our hair, our shirt, the floor, peering underneath chairs and everywhere else, looking for the errant wad of orange-citrus mint.

A few months ago we lost a juicy piece of gum, only to find it stuck to our stomach an hour later. No harm, no foul. Right? Wrong.

Because we lost our gum AGAIN, this time on a car ride home. It wasn’t in OUR car, and we felt super foolish. Could our chewing gum habit actually have caused carnage to someone else’s property? Eeeek!

Fast forward – We found the gum, but we didn’t find it for like 12 hours when the car was searched with the sunrise. Somehow we managed to spit it at an unlikely angle that propelled it to the no-man’s-land area between the car seat and the door.

As we exulted over the discovery of our lost gum, and that it hadn’t ruined any upholstery, we noticed something. The cold night had frozen it, and the very last bite mark from one of our fangs had been preserved onto it. We showed it to the car owner, who remarked that it could now be considered a relic (or something like that) – like the pocket watch’s last tick as the Titanic sunk. Again, we’re paraphrasing, because we can’t remember the exact comment. We were tired.

But, this struck us as funny – we giggled a little at the thought of our gum being compared to an historic discovery.

We felt like an archeologist. Not like the foolish gum chomper we actually are.

Besides losing gum, we’re also terribly frightened of getting gum in our luxuriant tresses. And to help out our fellow gum enthusiasts, we did a little research on how to remove gum from hair.

According to a Google search that ended up at http://www.associatedcontent.com: “To remove chewing gum from carpet, clothes and hair, try the freezing method first. Before freezing the chewing gum, scrape as much of it off as possible with a nonserrated knife. Next put a couple of ice cubes into a self-sealing plastic sandwich bag. Rub the bag of ice over the chewing gum until it freezes. Once the chewing gum is frozen, remove it by scraping it away. Keep repeating the freezing method until the chewing gum is removed. If the freezing method produce less than desirable results, try (heating it).”

***

We’re out, not chewing gum. And we’re lying. Because we are. Two pieces at the same time.


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