Summit Up 10-9-10: Grounded for life and angry about it | SummitDaily.com
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Summit Up 10-9-10: Grounded for life and angry about it

Summit Daily/Mark Fox
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Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s wondering why birds get to fly and we don’t. Just look at that bluebird up there, flying around like nobody’s business while we’re stuck walking (or crawling, which happens on occasion when we’ve had one too many Rusty Nails). And why do they have to flaunt it in front of our face all the time, flapping around, pooping on our heads and cars, looking down on us from high branches with that mocking look only birds seem to have.

We’re sick of it. But we’re not sure what to do about it other than to quickly grab a cheap Southwest flight to, say, Tulsa just to say we flew. Sort of. Flying in planes is really more like an exercise in mass humiliation than it is any kind of exhilarating experience.

On the other hand, we happened to be up on Boreas Pass not too long ago and we saw what these bluebirds were having for lunch: big, nasty, black Mormon crickets which, even if the airlines still gave you food on the plane, would still be worse.

We’re not kidding about the Mormon crickets, BTW. We caught a couple of them and looked them up and found out that’s what they’re called. The big nasty stinger-looking thing on their butts, by the way, isn’t really a big, nasty stinger thing but, rather, an ovipositor. That’s a thing for sticking down in the ground to lay your eggs, if you’re a Mormon cricket.

MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Blech!

SU: Yeah, well, reproduction isn’t often pretty. Just think what a Mormon cricket would think of how we go about it.

MORMON CRICKET: Blech! What is that thing?

See? We out.


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