Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column scratching its head over a few courthouse-code-of-ethics items we recently discovered. One, why won’t the court folks allow jurors to chew gum? We understand the court’s not wanting cell phones ringing during proceedings or some rube in the front row munching potato chips and slurping a “Big Gulp,” but chewing gum. We beg the question, as we sat behind some guy in jury selection recently who had just smoked an entire pack of cigarettes before entering the courtroom (at 8:30 a.m.), and who was badly in need of a piece of chewing gum, not to mention a complete spray-down in Ralph Loren Polo. This guy stunk. Indeed, we moved for fear of having his stink rub off our way or someone thinking perhaps it was us wearing that unappealing ashtray cologne. Chewing gum, by golly, we thought that a weird request.The other oddity in courtroom code is “No Flip-flops.” We understand the request that we not wear hats – that’s not really cool anyway, right – or be asked to leave unruly children at home, but flip-flops? The lady sitting next to us was wearing clogs and no socks. A fellow across the jury aisle was wearing Tevas. Fortunately, we wore our bedroom slippers and slipped under the radar screen. “What if….” we thought, had we been wearing a ballcap, flip-flops and chewing a wad of Bazooka? Perhaps that is the perfect way to get thrown off the dreaded jury duty.”Hey you, Summit Up Fellow, are you kidding me,” the angry judge shouts and singles us out with a bulging vein on his forehead. “You are a disgrace – a dirty hat, skanky flip-flops, blowing bubbles. Not in my courtroom, pal. Get out of here.”***If anyone’s seen a grey tabby (cat) named Joey with calico markings, the feline disappeared from a second-story deck Tuesday night in Dillon Valley East. Call Susie at (970) 468-8682. ***Someone wrote into us with a point on the dog who got hit by a car and died, with the driver nowhere to be found. Now, we know it’s bad to hit and run, but it’s also important to keep dogs from running away.We think the bases are covered now.***It’s Friday, which means our Labor Day weekend has officially begun. Call us at (970) 668-3998, ext. 257, or drop us an e-mail at email@example.com. We’re out looking for court-approved breath mints …
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