Good morning, and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column playing with our noodles.It seems there’s a new cookbook out in honor of the back-to-school crowd. We haven’t sprung for the cookbook because the cost of it could buy us 99.5 packages of Ramen noodles when they’re on sale.But, apparently recipes include beer noodles (for of-age college students), cheesy tuna Ramen, cheeseburger Ramen, primavera pasta and chocolate chinos.Now, we know Ramen noodles are a worldwide phenomenon – with sales of more than 10 billion each year – but we didn’t understand the phenomenon until we had chocolate-dipped noodles.Until then, they seriously reminded us of snake do-do. See, we had the misfortune of being introduced to Ramen noodles at the exact same time we met our friend’s python. As our friend slurped up his bowl of Ramen noodles, we couldn’t help but notice they looked a lot like the long pale excretions coiled in the python’s cage. And they didn’t smell that great either.Truthfully, we still don’t think we could make a recipe called creamy mushroom Ramen, because it would remind us too much of the python’s poop piled high in the glass cage.But, we try to stay open minded, so we’d love to hear about your favorite Ramen recipes. In the meantime, we’re out writing a book about inedible things to do with Ramen noodles. Our latest project involves making a wig out of Ramen noodles to wear at the Coroner’s Ball in October.***In other pressing news, a ballroom dancer was charged with attempting to kill his partner. Kinda puts a different twist on this year’s documentary about ballroom dancing called “Mad Hot Ballroom.” Watch out kids: That innocent tango you’re doing in junior high to save you from gangs and drugs could swing into a life of vodka, motels and groin kicking.Larinda McRaven says her partner, Stephen Hevenor, was drunk and attacked her after she came home from a motel. She says she stayed in the motel because she was having problems with Hevenor. He says she was having an affair, which, we suppose also qualifies as having problems with Hevenor. Kinda adds another meaning to the term swing …Anyway, the couple is one of the top 10 dance teams in the nation, but when McRaven allegedly tried to kick Hevenor in the groin, the couple faced going the way of 1980 Olympic pair skaters Tai Babilonia and Randy Gardner, though the Olympians’ trouble was limited to groin injuries only – no domestic violence. The heavy vodka drinking came later, at least on Babilonia’s part, from what we hear.So we’re thinking, why ruin a career because of a few missteps? Why not channel angst-ridden passion into the dance? After all, what’s more compelling than seeing that dramatic, pained face as a couple does the tango?According to the Associated Press story, Hevenor is in an alcohol education program – we assume not to learn how to drink, but rather to learn how to drink responsibly or not drink at all – so we wish him the best with his steps.***It’s Sunday. ‘Nuff said. Leave us a voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 257, or an e-mail to email@example.com.
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