Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column dreaming of the days when we had arts and crafts time.It occurred to us at work on Monday, as we sat waist-deep in paper clippings, that it had been a long while since someone instructed us to use scissors in a constructive manner.Usually, we use scissors to destroy – to cut open a package of cheese, for example – and then we toss them back in the junk drawer with a scattering of old keys, broken flashlights and tape.But Monday, oh no. This was a project. We had to cut out our best stories from the last year to submit them to some yahoos in another state to determine if we were “the best” at taking pictures, writing stories, or writing this daily column. If we win, the corporate geniuses promise us, we will all receive gentle pats on the back and the expectation that we have to win every year.Whoopee.But it’s not up to us. We do the best we can. But here’s what we definitely know about our skills: We stink with scissors.Was it always this hard? Did we always have to watch carefully for the blade so that we didn’t lose a finger? Did we always cut in such raggedy lines? And then we realized our fatal flaw. We’re out of practice.Back in the day, our teachers would make scissors a part of our daily routine. Between making fun of the kids who used “left-handed” scissors, or the kids who used “safety” scissors because they were prone to sudden tantrums, we would be cutting beautiful snowflakes out of construction paper. We could turn a few snips here and there into a family of four holding hands. We were ninjas with the scissors.But now, we’re all thumbs. We plan on leaving the little cutting device alone from now on or, if we have to, we’ll hire an expert (preferably someone under 10 years old, but that brings up labor laws. Are we doomed?). We know there’s a rule about running with scissors, but we don’t know of any rule about running from scissors.And we’re fine with that. We just wonder if our skills with a glue stick have gone down the tubes as well.***If you haven’t heard of Cole and Dylan Sprouse, then you haven’t been reading that subscription of Teen People we know you have sitting on the living room table.The 13-year-old blond twins are representing a fashion line for boys designed by, who other, the Olsen twins. Mary-Kate and Ashley have apparently mastered their own skinny-teenage clothing line and, in hopes of building their empire, have jumped over to the “other” gender.”I honestly feel like my life is just getting started,” Ashley said. “I just see myself more as a businessperson taking it to the next level and moving forward.” Ugh. She sounds like a businessperson already.***Who’s sitting around right now wondering how they can become involved with the great international event known as “Oktoberfest”? If you are, then you need to think about your drinking problem.Just kidding. Breckenridge has found itself short of beer volunteers and frankly, we’re disappointed in the community. After all, if there was one thing we thought we could count on …Volunteers are still needed for shifts on both Saturday, Sept. 17, and Sunday, Sept. 18 for jobs including beer servers to sellers of Oktoberfest steins. Volunteers receive an event staff T-shirt and either food or beverage voucher for a four-hour shift. Contact Kelly Graham at (970) 453-3187, ext. 3, to volunteer.Who’s first in line?***It’s Tuesday, and we’re out looking to join scissors lessons. If you know of any, e-mail us at email@example.com, or drop us a line at (970) 668-3998, ext. 257. We’re out …
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