Good morning, and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column bending its gender on a regular basis.What began as a male-dominated column (just like other things in our patriarchal world) has morphed into an androgynous blend of blathering. And apparently, we’re not the only land full of gender benders.A recent Associate Press story talked about Alex Polanco, an 18-year-old Chicagoan who refers to himself as “tranny boy.” Sometimes he wears jeans and a T-shirt, other times he wears makeup and a wig. He says he’s not trying to permanently be one gender or the other; he likes the opportunity to switch.
Unfortunately for him, it’s not as fun as the main character’s gender changes in “Zerophilia.” (If you missed the Summit Up that talked about how he changed, seems you’re out of luck. We’ve used up our monthly allotments of using the word “orgasm” in the paper.)Pop icons have pushed boundaries for decades (and it all started with the Beatles – those parents were right – long-haired boys were the beginning of the gender-bending frenzy). Annie Lenox looks like a man, RuPaul makes a beautiful woman and Marilyn Manson just, well, looks like a freak.These days, gnarly men undergo makeovers and boast their metrosexual savvy.
And it’s not just happening in those big, bad cities. It’s happening right under our noses, at Summit High School. It reached a peak last week during Homecoming week, giving the word “homecoming” a whole new meaning.Staffer No. 24.5879 came home Thursday night to a pair of fishnet stockings on her kitchen counter. Mind you, only her and her husband live in their house, and they haven’t had guests for weeks. Then, she walked into the laundry room to give her dog water, and lo-and-behold, she found a pair of high-heeled clogs tucked neatly on the utility shelves. And, they were much bigger than her usual size 7 1/2. The next morning, one of her silk-and-sequin black scarves somehow traveled from her closet to her bathroom counter.For days prior, her husband had begged her to let him borrow a black skirt, but she refused. Not on any anti-cross-dressing principles – simply because he didn’t have a girlish enough figure for her to be sure he wouldn’t stretch out the elastic waistbands. So, he took matters into his own hands and went shopping – coming home with fishnets and all.
Then he joined the other cross-dressing teachers in a dance routine to Lenny Kravitz’s “Sophisticated Lady” during Friday night’s Air Band competition. Our main concern is not the fishnet tights or the red wig Staffer No. 24.5879 found on her ironing board. Our main concern is the kids. What does seeing teachers cross-dress do to our kids? As Caitlin Ryan, a clinical social worker at San Francisco State University points out in the Associated Press story, “Gender (bending) has become part of the defining way that youth organize themselves and rebel against adults.”Our poor kids. Think of how creative they have to be to rebel against gender-bending teachers.
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