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Summit Up

AP PhootThis undated photo made available Thursday, Sept. 29, 2005 by the Wildlife Conservation Society shows a female gorilla named Efi using stick to poke the ground in an area called Mbeli Bai in the Republic of Congo's Nouabal-Ndoki National Park. For the first time, biologists have documented gorillas in the wild using simple tools, such as poking a stick in a swampy pool of water to check its depth. Until now, scientists had seen gorillas use tools only in captivity. Among the great apes, tool use in the wild was thought to be a survival skill reserved for smaller chimpanzees and orangutans.

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering what it would be like to add gorillas to the mix in Summit Up Land.Apparently, biologists have recently documented gorillas in the wild using some simple tools, such as poking a stick in swampy water to see how deep it is. So we’re thinking these gorillas could teach the domesticated pets of the county a thing or two about using simple tools, such as a pooper scooper.The gorillas could have little classes, teaching all the dogs how to open a bag, pick up poop and drop it into the nearest trash receptacle.

One of our cohorts here at the Corporate Suites said he wished the gorillas could teach his cats to use a couple of simple tools, like the toilet. Or a bottle opener. Though, we think the bottle opener was more for him than the cats, unless cat food suddenly started coming in bottles.Gorillas could also work wonders for the wild animals around here, too. They could teach the bears how to lift the lid of a garbage can, delicately reach in and carefully remove any tasty morsels they wish to eat and then gently lower the lid back down, making sure to place any litter back in the garbage can.Maybe they could also instruct squirrels to look both ways before crossing the road. (Hey, here’s a joke for you: Why did the squirrel cross the road? ‘Cuz he was nuts! OK, we just made that up, and it wasn’t funny. But tell it to the nearest bunch of 3-year-olds; they’ll love it. They’re our target audience, anyway.)

All in all, we think gorillas would make a fine addition to Summit Up Land. Heck, maybe they could even write a few stories for us once in a while.***Speaking of jokes, Jeanie, a manager at The Outlets and a longtime local, had a joke played on her in the name of winter. She said she was already tired of the cold and her employees decided to pull one over on her. They placed a couple of small, snow-covered trees on her computer at work and voila! It worked. She said she’s now ready to use her ski pass at A-Basin.

Us, too.***It’s Saturday, and a delightful Saturday it is. We’re out enjoying the last of the pre-snow weather, so you’ll have to leave us a message at (970) 668-3998, ext. 257. You can also send us an e-mail at out …

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