Summit Up 11-01-10 Where we’re one step away from a cell phone intervention
Good Morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s developing a healthy fear of cell phones. Recently, we saw that commercial – you know, the one where the camera pans across a city-scape, showing life at a general stand-still because everybody is staring at their cell phones. It got us thinking, as we were texting, changing our profile pic, adding a new app and driving to work this morning: Are we becoming cell phone addicts? We are on them pretty much constantly. And why not? They do everything, these days. We have now consolidated something like 15 different electrical and battery powered devices down into one. So no wonder we’ve got that one device on us 24 hours a day. But is there a line? At what point do you become a cell phone addict? We needed to know. So we asked our smartphone.
According to our Are You a Cell Phone Addict? app there are 11 sure symptoms of cell phone addiction:
1. You use the phrase “there’s an app for that” in normal conversation and you’re not joking. Hmmm … perhaps this explains the look on that police officer’s face when he pulled us over last week and we recommended the “Stupid Laws- the facts” app to him.
2. You have, on more than one occasion, jumped up and down, stood on one foot, whined loudly, asked for a different seat at a restaurant, walked away from an ongoing conversation and/or cried actual tears because you didn’t have cell phone service. Only if you’ve done them on more than one occasion, though, right?
3. You have come to blows over the iPhone vs. Blackberry debate. OK, that guy had it coming. Anyway, no surprise who had a tweet about winning the fight posted first.
4. You have, for any reason, used your phone in the bathroom. At all. Ever. Wait, does in the shower count?
5. You have named and/or carry on conversations with your phone (Note: If you carry on conversations with other inanimate objects try the “10 signs you’re just plain crazy” app).
6. You have experienced symptoms of withdrawal after losing, forgetting, breaking or draining the battery charge on your phone. No, of course not. We’ll just charge it when we get home. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. What? What are you looking at? No, we are not shaking or breaking out in a cold sweat!
7. You can’t actually remember what your girlfriend looks like, but you’re absolutely sure of what cell phone provider she uses. Uh, she’s, um, blond? We think. Hang on, let us check her Facebook.
8. You would probably forget your Wednesday staff meeting, your dentist appointment, your mother’s birthday, to pick up your kids from school, brush your teeth or breathe without your calendar reminders on your phone. Ding, ding, ding … hang on, it’s time for our multivitamin.
9. You can text at a rate of 51 words per minute or faster. Crap.
10. You are more excited for the arrival of the next generation of iPhone than you were for the arrival of your first child. Seven months, 12 days, 9 hours and 52 minutes to go!
11. You took the time to download and read this app.
Okay, so we’re cell phone addicts. So what? Like you aren’t? The question now is, what do we do about it? Well being as brilliant as we are, we came up with a solution. We just need phones that do more stuff. Think about it, the big problem presented by being a phone addict is that your phone likely distracts you from real life activities, as was the case for the people in that one commercial. So what we need is a phone that will do all that real life stuff for us, so we don’t have to be distracted from our phones. If our phone could drive our car for us, it would free us up to text. If our phone could order our coffee for us, we wouldn’t have to worry about insulting the barista by never looking up from our phones. It’s the perfect plan.
Anyway, you guys think about it, we’ve really got to get home and charge our phone. We out.
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