Summit Up 11-13-10: Sort of a primer for our upcoming memoir
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that thinks it’d be cool to make millions of bucks when we retire off our “memoirs.” We’re thinking of ol’ W cruising around out there plugging his “Decision Points” book, which we reckon has something to do with his eight years in the Oval Office. but surely, we think, our years before the keyboard will be worth some golden memoir nuggets at some point in the future. Y’all’d line up to buy it, wouldn’t you?(sound of crickets/a dog barks somewhere)OK, well, if you change your mind let us know. We’re thinking we’ll call our memoir “M’kraibetz nahortna,” which is old Yiddish for “I knew I shoulda gone to medical school like daddy told me!”***Speaking of ink-stained wretches, have you heard of the Facebook page “Overheard in the newsroom?” Probably not, since it’s sorta geared toward newsroom folks (and we reckon every profession has some version of this on Facebook nowadays). But it’s often got some pretty good stuff on it. Here’s a few recent examples:- Reporter upon getting a letter from a prisoner: “Inmates always have better hand writing than the general public.”(We can say from experience this is oddly true.)- Assignment editor after hanging up the phone: “Put your teeth in before you call.”-Copy editor: “Once you’re a writer, you’re a writer.” Designer: “And, once you’re a pain in the ass, you’re a journalist.”-Sports desker: “Someone turn the clock back an hour.” Copy editor: “Why? You still won’t make deadline.”(rim shot)-Reporter, on Nov. 4: “Is there any Election Night pizza left?”-Reporter covering election: “The name of the clown may change but it’s still a circus.”-Copy editor, talking about a full-page negative campaign ad: “It’s elections like this that will save the newspaper industry.”OK, enough of that.***Here’s a message from Becky Coughlin, who writes thusly:”Long time residents of Frisco Anna and George Coughlin have spent the past five winters in Ft. Worth enjoying the company of their daughter’s family – children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. Unfortunately, Anna suffered a fall in her home on Oct. 20 resulting in a hip fracture. Anna is working very hard each and every day on her rehabilitation and would greatly benefit by the kind words of encouragement from her Summit County friends. Cards, well wishes, etc. can be sent to: 5301 Bryant Irvin Road, Apt 122, Ft. Worth, TX 76132 or by calling directly: (303) 903-8823.”We hope you feel better soon, Anna!***So for readers of The Onion, have you been enjoying the gags about VP Joe Biden? It’s pretty funny stuff, with photos of Joe washing his Trans Am in front of the White House and other stuff about how he received a lifetime ban from Dave & Busters (some chain restaurant we’ve never heard of before) and that he now has a purple belt in karate. What The Onion missed, though, was a recent trip by the Veep to Summit County, where informed sources tell us …-Joe Biden was seen up at A-Basin skiing in jeans. And here we thought that was only Dick Cheney!-That guy who was recently caught riding a bike drunk across the Dam Road after hours? Joe Biden!-Biden was caught in Frisco recently trying to get a medical marijuana card for his “trick elbow.”-Looking to get his antedeluvian Olin Mark IV’s tuned at Precision in Frisco – Joe Biden!-Several Loveland Pass snowboarders reveal the Veep was up skiing the pass the other night but wouldn’t chip in for gas and ate this one dude’s trail mix without asking.-Seen bumming smokes from a couple of ladies outside the Moose Jaw Friday night: Joe Biden!So you see, it’s not just around Washington that Joe breaks out his urban-redneck tendencies. You’ve really got to watch this guy.Folks, it’s Saturday, go enjoy some skiing or riding out there!We out.
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