Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that has a few words about targeted marketing and public relations. We know that sounds terribly serious and all, but we had a press release snail-mailed to us that’s just such a textbook case of poor targeting that we had to share. Listen:

“The American Society of Agricultural Appraisers (ASAA) will offer a 4-1/2 day Personal Property Appraisal seminar in Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas December 15-2,010.”

MILLIONS OF SUMMIT UP READERS: Golly, that sounds swell! What’s it all about?

SU: “The seminar will focus on teaching participants how to professionally appraise farm machinery, livestock and horses in compliance with the Uniform Standards of Professional Appraisal Practice (USPAP). … The seminar is specifically designed for those who desire to enter the livestock, farm equipment and/or horse appraisal field, and for those who are already doing agricultural, personal property appraisals. … If you have a background around livestock, equipment or horses and you desire to enter the appraisal field, or are already a professional appraiser, you won’t want to miss this excellent educational opportunity!”

MSUR: It’s funny, but we were just thinking we might like to get into agricultural appraising. How do we find out more about his amazing opportunity to spend 4-1/2 days Fort Worth in December to learn about looking horses in the mouth and other topics?

SU: Uh, go to http://www.amagappraisers.com. Tell ’em Summit Up sent you.

(sound of whinnying horse followed by sound of cash register ka-ching!)

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Message to online readers of Summit Up who aren’t in-county: It’s been snowing a lot, you should get out here pronto!

(Readers of our print edition can ignore the previous paragraph.)

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OK, here are some ski and snowboarder jokes we found online. If you find them at all amusing, laugh quietly to yourself:

>A car has five snowboarders in the back seat. What do you call the driver?

Answer: Sheriff

>What is the difference between a snowboard instructor and a snowboard student?

Answer: 3 days!

>How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: Nine. One to screw in the light bulb and 8 to say ‘nice turns!’

>How does a snowboard instructor meet his class?

Answer: He runs into them!

>What do you call a snowboarder with no girlfriend?

Answer: Homeless

Well, there it is. Have a terrific Tuesday, Summit County!

We out.