December 5, 2005
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that is agog over a press release sent to us with information pertaining to “gaydar” and a gay ski week coming up in Telluride later on this winter. Actually, the subject matter of the press release doesn’t astound us too much, since we’re all very tolerant and open-minded individuals here at Summit Up HQ. We really were just jonesin’ to use the word “agog.” It’s not that often we get to use a cool word like that, so we thought we’d work it in there.By the way, this e-mail was marked as “urgent,” so that’s why we’re not wasting any time sharing this with our readers. The headline reads thusly: “Gay Ski Week Launches The Ultimate in Gaydar.” Then we go on to read that, “For the first time ever Telluride guests will be offered the chance to track their mountain experience with the help of a GPS tracking service at this year’s Telluride Gay Ski Week, Feb. 26-March 5, 2006.”Well, this sounds like the same old Slopetracker service that’s already been in use at Keystone for quite a while, so we don’t really see exactly what’s new about it, or how it ties into the gay ski week, but it’s giving us some ideas. How ’bout a “slope tracker” service for singles, be they gay or straight? We’re thinking about a system by which you could, if you were single, sign up and use it to meet other single skiers who are skiing or riding the same type of terrain you are. After all, there’s nothing more frustrating than meeting that cute ski bunny or hunky guy in the lodge, striking up a deep, meaningful conversation about American foreign policy or the latest John Updike novel in front of the fireplace, only to find out that you’re in a totally different place when it comes to choosing terrain. What a waste of time.Not with our new system! See, we’d have it all mapped out, little pink dots for the girls, blue for the guys, showing other singles who are choosing the same runs as you. Using the latest in GPS technology and our “single slope tracker database,” lonely singles could then casually wait at the base of the lift to make the ultimate ski-based hook-up. After all, there’s nothing like a shared love of the mountains as the basis for a long-lasting and committed relationship, we think. So if there are any marketing and/or tech geniuses out there who want to help us set this thing up, send us an e-mail here at firstname.lastname@example.org.We have a Scum Alert! Scum Alert! Brianne and Brad had a rough day recently. Brianne wrote: “Just wanted to say thanks to whoever took my husband’s wallet out of our truck to spend all of our money and rack up every credit card that was in it.”We have lived in Summit County for almost 10 years and have never had anything stolen from us. Sad news that Breckenridge is attracting people who don’t respect how hard the average Summit County resident works just to be able to live here. I hope that you enjoy your newfound toys – we heard you went to Wal-Mart to grab some game systems. “Don’t choke on the controller! By the way, it was my husband’s birthday. He didn’t so much appreciate the gift of theft.Ugh. May the thief get perpetual gaming thumb until the thief’s thumb falls off and pokes him/her in the eye. One more item of interest received via e-mail: Apparently there is a “Best Idea Since Sliced Bread” contest going on, soliciting ideas on how to “strengthen the economy and improve life for working men and women.” We’re not sure, but this seems to have something to do with the federal government in Washington, D.C. What with all the budget-cutting and government downsizing, this seems like a great idea. Grassroots government. Why waste tax dollars paying a bunch of high-rolling consultants when you can just ask citizens directly. We can’t vouch for this, but apparently you could win up to $100,000 if you come up with the winner. And who couldn’t use that kind of gravy with their Christmas turkey? Check it out at http://www.sinceslicedbread.com.We are outta here.