December 14, 2005
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column wondering what the Almighty One intended when he/she created man, and then he/she created eye boogers.Now, “eye boogers” is the least flattering term for those crusty little chunks that end up in your eyes in the mornings. Other terms include “crusties,” “eye gunk” and “sleepies.”Do they have a purpose? On what day were “sleepies” given to man? Or, if you’re an evolutionist, at what stage in our development did our bodies adapt in this manner? Did lesser mammals die off after not being able to create a sufficient amount of “eye gunk?”Other questions come to mind. Can someone harvest “eye goobers” for profit? Can they be used as a renewable fuel? Are they like pearls, in that each one has a different value?Could we survive without them?Now, we’re no experts on this subject, obviously, so we’re all ears for answers. Or, in this case, we’re all eyes.***We hate these. Laura McDonough from Silverthorne is venting about a horrible incident she experienced with a good-old-fashioned Scum Alert! Scum Alert!”My neighbor’s 10-year-old dog was hit by a car yesterday and left to die, in the road, in front of his home in Placer Valley. This dog is normally leashed but had broken off his leash, somehow. “This heartless, careless, poor excuse for a human being struck this poor dog (Monte), breaking his back and tail, and didn’t even take the time to check on him. If he/she had, they’d have found him fully tagged and known who to contact for help. They could’ve have even called instead of going to the door, being the obvious coward that he/she is.
“As for karma payback, where do you start? Do you wish the pain of the dog on them? Do you wish the horror of finding your dog, in shock and near death, laying in front of your home? Do you wish this spineless jerk to have to explain to a 3-year-old girl why her doggie isn’t coming home? Do you wish the financial burden of my neighbors for the quickly mounting vet bills? Do you wish the choices that my neighbors now need to make, including putting down their most beloved family member? “I am disgusted that such pathetic people are running around our otherwise wonderful community. Thanks for the vent, Summit Up! Have a blessed holiday season.”***Mark O’Brien from Silverthorne wrote us a poem, but didn’t title it. We’ll call it “I don’t want corporations in Frisco.”There once was a town named FriscoWhose future rode on a yes or a noTown fathers were sureThey had found the cureAnd sank their teeth into Home Depot.More taxes and jobs by the handful they screamed
We’ll have parks and perks by the eyeful they schemedBut placing one’s betOn what corporate America can getHas proven more disastrous than useful it seems.It wasn’t such a long time agoThat Dillon opted to sell its soul.City Market it got, downtown was left offAll because sales tax is its goal.So look hard across the lake and seeIf that’s what you want the future to be.
A town with concrete at its core”Space for rent” on old wooden doorsAnd a town council that cares not about you or me.So when you go to the polls to decide itBe sure in your heart it’s the right fit.Because for years in advance,From I-70 they will glanceAnd see nothing but a piece of suburban horsesh***.It’s Thursday. Our band name today is the “Eye Goober Pickers.” We’re out …