Summit Up 12-20-09
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s concerned about kids of a certain age who proclaim not to believe any longer in Santa Claus. We say to you: How do you know for sure? Yes, it may seem like your parents are the ones behind all the presents. You may even have observed them coming home with gifts and stuffing them in a closet. Even more jaded parents may have had you along assisting with the gift selection, effectively trampling the notion of Santa Claus into a dirty pile of eggnog-soaked fruitcake.
But just bear in mind that you may not think you know what you think is correct and real, or you may think it, feel it and not necessarily understand it. Parents over the years have gotten very crafty about effecting this elaborate façade of “Oh, no, we don’t believe in Santa” when, in fact, they are just creating an ever more Byzantine ruse to get you to believe it’s not true so that, ultimately, the magic still works.
Think about it. It makes sense in an elliptical, non-linear way. Like so many things.
We’ve written a fair amount in this space recently about the 2000s coming to an end and have wrung our hands ad nauseum about what to call this decade. And then, lo and behold, we received an e-mail from a guy who’s even more exercised about it than we are! His name is Scott Pedersen, and his suggestion is we call them the Naughty Aughties. Scott believes it was a very naughty decade indeed, and offers just a few examples:
2009 – Death of MJ (and don’t forget Tiger!)
2008 – Wall Street Bailout
2007 – Recall for lead Paint
2006 – Cheney Shoots Friend
2005 – Gov’t Response to Katrina
2004 – Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction
2003 – Paris Hilton Tape
2002 – Forest Worker Starts Fire
2001 – Clinton Admits False Testimony
2000 – Florida Decides Next President
If that sounds naughty enough to you to name the 2000s the Naughty Aughties, check out Scott’s website at http://www.namedecade.com. You can buy the inevitable T-shirt … and everything! But while we will give props to Scott for pushing this nomenclature for the 2000s, we do take issue with the “registered” trademark he has next to the Naughty Aughties. Can you really trademark a decade – like the Roaring Twenties or the Psychedelic Sixties? Seems like a stretch. But we suppose you can apply for and stick one of those ® thingies wherever you’d like and see if it gains traction. We guess the theory is that, if you do this, everyone who uses your dealio will have to pay you money. As far as we know, we already owe Scott like 27 cents for what we’ve said about the Naughty Aughties (whoops – make that 30 cents!) so far.
If you need more explanation, here’s Scott:
“Why Naughty Aughties®? We NEED an identifier. Not many people can pinpoint the actual years of Generation X and Generation Y, the Stone Age or the Industrial Revolution. Naughty Aughties® and its offshoots leave no doubt to this identity as ‘naught’ and ‘aught’ both mean zero. Jazzing up ‘Naught’ to ‘Naughty’ and combining it with ‘Aughties,’ inadvertently describes the tone of the first decade that includes the Years 2000-2009. Marketing sense tells us that the 00’s are not memorable enough nor are they appealing to the public. Naughty Aughties® is simple, catchy, rhymes and intimates fun and mischievous behavior, as well as being sweet and sexy. Previous decades are easily identifiable and well marketed, but until now, there seemed to be no cohesion for the years 2000-2009. Naughty Aughties® fills the void in a fun and ‘roll off your tongue’ sort of way.”
There you have it. Use it if you will, but remember, if you write a song about it or something, you need to pay Scott! We out …
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