Summit Up 12-25-09
Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas today! This is, of course, a good day to open presents and sit around in your robe swilling eggnog and wondering to yourself “why the heck am I drinking this curious, not-entirely-pleasant and rather glutinous beverage?” But you get over it, finish your drink and waddled into the kitchen for another hunk of cheesball material (and what is that stuff coating the outside of cheesballs, anyway? And how can you even take cheeseballs seriously, with a name like that?)
Ultimately, though, we believe the best thing to do on Christmas Day is ski or board or snowshoe or XC ski. It’s quite on the hill and there’s a bit of odd reverence in the air even among people for whom Christmas means little beyond sales at Target and a preponderance of bad music. (Not to say all Christmas music is bad – some of it is quite nice. But we were inadvertently exposed to a particularly obnoxious version of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” (the only Christmas song we know of that deals with infidelity) and it made us toss our pfeffernüsse. Then we ran screaming into the woods and began tearing trees out of the ground with our bare hands (don’t worry, we stuck to beetle-killed trees and transported them immediately afterward to the local wood pellet plant), chased lynx into their burrows (and who knew lynx even lived in burrows?) and then rode a moose back into town, naked and bareback, all the while discharging Nerf shotgun shells into the air (in deference to local firearm ordinances) and swilling liberally from, you got it, a big bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream.
Then it was time for a nap – the perfect activity for Christmas Day afternoon after you’ve skied and/or lounged and/or ridden a moose naked through town (you might even have a free bed at Sheriff Minor’s Summit County Hilton, if’n you play your cards right).
Anyway, where were we? Oh, Merry Christmas! We were getting a little silly there, we know, but we always figure no one’s reading Summit Up on this special day, since you’re busy doing the Christmas thing. So if we were to start saying things in Swedish, like …
Det här är några roliga fraser på
Ska vi gå hem till mig, eller tycker du jag är äcklig?
Dela aldrig en back med någon som är större än du!
Om jag inte har förolämpat någon här ikväll så ber jag om ursäkt!
Det var inte jag! Jag var inte ens där!
… you probably wouldn’t even notice. If you have gotten this far and you speak Swedish and have any idea what any of this means, feel free to drop us a line at email@example.com. We’ll give you a free Summit Up bookmark! (We know, you can get one for free anyway at the left here, even without knowing Swedish phrases.)
Where were we? Oh, right: Merry Christmas Summit County!
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