Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column thinking Old Man Winter might have a stranglehold on our lives. All winter, we worshiped the Old Man for providing more than plentiful snow for us to play in … but now, he’s gone and gotten greedy and won’t let us move into the land of Madame Spring and Mr. Summer.Old Man Winter, we know at this point, isn’t about hiding the evidence. We found four inches of the new snow on our porch Wednesday morning. We felt a mixture of excitement and bore – which we understand might be confusing.Let us expand on our thoughts. The excitement came from those winter-long memories of splashing through freshies, begging the world to end because in no way could we be happier. The bore from the snow was a side effect of freshly made summer plans, which necessitate warm and dry weather.***Cathy Naff from Palisade wrote us this little ditty, about how a local bus driver treated a hick like an angel. Their words, not ours …”Dear Sir, I am hoping you will get this letter to your bus company. I usually ski at my local ski resort, but was treated to a ski day at Breckenridge. When the ‘Hick’ goes to a high-falootin’ place, they expect to be snubbed or at least ignored. Much to my surprise, the opposite happened. At the end of the day, my friend and I found ourselves walking in the street in our ski boots trying to find our original starting area because my bags were in a locker. Actually, they were on the locker because I was too cheap to pay the fee, and I don’t have anything worth stealing anyway. Now do you understand ‘Hick’ and you might throw in ‘Red Neck.'”Anyway, a bus picked us up and went out of his way to get us to our locker and then to our parking lot, even calling ahead to prevent the locker area from being locked. I wanted to kiss this guys feet, but would you please call the company and thank him profusely. Thank you so much.”***Finally, a contest worthy of our mad skills.The Hi Dive bar at 7 S. Broadway in Denver is hosting the Air Guitar Regional Qualifier on Thursday.Ooh wee, just imagine the possibilities. Seriously, though, what would you do to prepare for an air guitar competition?We’d probably approach it with a mental-picture strategy: We’d try to imagine different guitar legends and performers at the right moments. Here are some of our practice notes:• Axel Rose = Great for hair guitar situations.• Danzig = Great for songs about mom.• Zach De La Rocha (air guitar legend) = Great when you need to get pissed off and start a revolution.• Jack Johnson = Don’t think about Jack Johnson when you are trying to win an air guitar competition. If you do happen to think of Jack, say the word “pizzazz” thrice and bite the head off a live chicken. • We heard that most dry coffee creamers are excellent flammables, which we could blow through a tube into the air and attach a ignition mechanism to protrude past the opening of our rudimentary tube.Oh, and we’d be doing this strange and seemingly dangerous act in order to light the air on fire just like Hendrix used to light his axes. We’d chant to the fire and perform our typical seances if we could get that slippery stuff called “air” to remain lit for longer than a moment … flame throwers … Yes! We’re gonna need that extra drama to win this thing. ***It’s Thursday, it’s 4/20, and we’re out taking the last few laps through Old Man Winter’s evidence. Leave us a voicemail at (970) 668-3998, ext. 13620, or send an e-mail to email@example.com.
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