Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that thinks spring cleaning smells like the pizza shop down the street. We feel a little like Pavlov’s dogs. Not being naturally tidy, the newspaper gods at the Corporate Suites have decided to bribe us with slices. If we recycle the papers around our desks, then we’re guaranteed a slice of cheese. If we squirt screen cleaner on our monitors, we’ve been promised extra pepperoni. We think trying to achieve newsroom feng shui via Western junk food is a novel idea, but we’ll go with it. We need the calories and the kick in the pants to get our space and ideas organized. Our mothers tried to instill the cleaning ethic in us at a young age, but our developing minds were a little to sticky at the time and collected more dust instead of cleaning it off. When we’re outside having adventures, we strictly follow Leave No Trace ethics, but it seems that we make up for this conscientiousness in the other parts of our lives. We are worried that our footprint on this earth might come in the form of lost post-its, dirty dishes and the deep, dark hole of our junk drawer at home. If a person can be judged by the state of his or her belongings, then we should be working out the differences between our multiple personalities. Sometimes it seems that cleanliness is next to Godliness, and that we have messed up the cosmic order of living by being messy. It is in those times that we must think of our version of Corporate Suites pizza bribing and buckle down to clean. Right now we’re envisioning a ski pass with 50 12-inch powder days on it, like a Four Pass but better. But next season is so far off, and there are so many other things to do. Really, though, if we’re having so much fun snow sliding and playing during a time referred to as “mud season,” dirt can’t be all that bad. ***We received an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! that perfectly demonstrates the oxymoronical nature of cleaning things. Ian Bennett was trying to set things right with his car by making it all sparkly and nice at the Breckenridge Car Wash. Before sudsing up, he accidentally left his wallet on top of the change machine. Then he hosed off all the mag chloride and other truly dirty and bad things from his car and drove off. Now, Ian was disorganized: He left his wallet. But he was clean: No one can draw obscene pictures or write messages in the built-up dirt on his windows anymore. He’s also smart: He drove back to the car wash to check for the wallet that wasn’t there. But here’s the karmic catch: An unknown person set the whole disorganized/dirty-then-clean situation straight by returning the wallet to the Breckenridge Police Department. To the person who returned the wallet and proved that disorganized, clean, and organized truly are relative, Ian would like to say, “I am very appreciative, and this proved to me that there are a lot of good people out there.”We would give the wallet-returner a piece of meat lover’s pizza for being on the right side of clean karma. ***We’re out, setting things right by cleaning out our office and our minds, then filling the void with a large, thick-crust, fresh-pow-day pizza.
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