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Summit Up

Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s finally starting to “get” the whole SUV thing. We say this after having driven up I-70 and through the tunnel and down the other side and then on down along I-35 to Colorado Springs. We don’t really get out much, especially during the winter, when we prefer to stay local and partake of our daily doses of powder, so we were, to say the least, surprised by the condition of what are considered to be the major north-south and east-west thoroughfares in our region.Actually, surprised is probably too mild a word. Shock is probably a better way to describe our reaction as we traveled up toward the tunnel, trying to keep our mild-mannered Subaru from flying off the road as we changed lanes through gouges in the concrete that felt like they were six inches deep. Then on the way down the other side of the hill, same thing – massive dips and ledges, and bumps and gullies. And the north end of Colorado Springs is even worse. Seems like that stretch of highway has been under construction for as long as we can remember, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. We have staffers here at Summit Up HQ who have traveled the globe, including numerous third-world countries, and we are all here collectively to tell you that our roads suck, even compared to places like Bulgaria and Azherbajan. Heck, forget off-roading and four-wheeling the backcountry. There’s no need. Clearly, a big, massive, gas-guzzling SUV, maybe a Cadillac Escalade, is the way to go, so that you can float down the highway without running the risk of spilling even a precious drop of that raspberry-mocha-decaf-grande-frappucino. No wonder everybody’s driving these behemoths. We understand that it’s been a hard winter, and the highway folks will tell you that the chains on the trucks cause all that wear and tear, and we can semi-understand the reasoning for all this. But once again, we gotta tell you that we’ve seen other realms and mountain kingdoms that also deal with snow and tire chains and nowhere are the roads as rugged as some of the spots along I-70.And they’re talking about adding new lanes, expanding the highway, drilling a new bore through the tunnel? You have got to be joking! That’s like talking about adding a deck on to your house while the roof is collapsing and the foundation is rotting away. Take care of whatcha got!OK, OK, maybe we’re exaggerating just a little bit here, but we’re trying to make point, alright?***So we are thinking that after work today, if they ever let us out of this little gray cubicle, we might go get our hairs cut. We’ve been vacillating back and forth between our two local discount hair-cutting emporiums, trying to decide which one gives the better cuts, and we’re thinking it’s pretty much a tie (not that we have all that much hair to worry about). But to resolve the question, we’d like to suggest a hair-cutting competition between Cost Cutters and Great Clips. Maybe this could be part of a summer festival on Main Street here in Frisco, where, you know, the stylists show up with their mousse bottles slung low on their belts, their clippers and scissors polished to perfection, and then they line up and see how long it takes them to cut 10 people. Sounds thrilling, doesn’t it? Kind of like a battle of the bands. Or maybe not, but if anyone else is thinking about opening a salon, we’ve just come up with a brilliant new name. We’d love to trademark this, but we can’t. It’s so good, we’re thinking of going into the hairstyling business ourselves just base on this name. Ready? Here it is: “Bangs-are-Us.” Pretty good, eh? That’s why they pay us the Big Bucks!***Finally, what with skiing winding down at Vail and Breck this past weekend, we have got to send out some props to all the lifties and everyone else who helped kept us in powder up to our yazoos this winter. Mother Nature sure did her part, but without all the behind-the-scenes help, we’d have been doing some serious uphill slogging to get at the goods. And don’t forget, A-Basin is still going strong, with a 70-plus-inch base and festivities planned every weekend from now until … well, who knows. As long as the snow lasts, we suppose.We out, saving up for an SUV …

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