Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that thinks looking in the mirror is proof of our lofty backgrounds. We don’t see silver and gold in our reflection, but a more telling sign of importance – big, fat bruises. We counted nine bruises on one leg along yesterday, and guess what? They were all a deep, royal, shade of bluish-purple. That means we’re bluebloods, and we are here to claim what is ours.
We are slowly establishing a network of followers. One doctor told us that our bruises were caused by an iron deficiency, so we exiled him from the kingdom. He is now forced to work on the Front Range. Our friend told us that some people bruise more easily than others, and we have made her a part of the court because she is obviously aware of the mark of special people. Still, we have to admit, our big news hasn’t reached the entire county yet. We didn’t win the ice princess contest, and most of the resorts have closed so we can no longer play King of the Mountain. But the tint on our thighs belies the humble day-to-day worker bee mask we put on. We don’t make the honey; we’re at the epicenter the hive. With all the buzz around this year’s ski season, some would blame falls in tight trees for the round circles of royalty pocking our body. But we know there’s a reason that we write the Summit Up column – we have the right to refer to ourselves in the first-person plural sense.
Just look at our legs. They are the picture of grace and easy living, Summit County-style. ***Now that the weather is getting warmer and people are wearing shorts, we sense there might be a greater royal presence in Summit County. We’ve seen a few other bluebloods out there. We’re going to do another Summit Up contest to find out who the real bruisers are in the area. We like to call this one the “Humpty-Dumpty Contest,” because it’s about breaking things then putting them back together again, just like the brand-new rainforest puzzle we have waiting at the Corporate Suites as a prize. To get your hands on this symbolic game, send us your gnarliest photo of a bruise and/or other injury earned from this ski season to the present. Also include a description of how you obtained your badge of honor. We’ll only publish G-rated boo-boos, so keep it clean. We reserve the right to edit or completely black out photos for tastefulness. Send us your gross outs from your all-out efforts to Summitup@summitdaily.com.
***Along the lines of keeping ourselves safe, we have an Angel Alert!! Angel Alert!! from a Summit Up reader who wanted to give the folks from the Sheriff’s office and the Summit Prevention Alliance kudos for giving away prizes to kids who drove to Summit High School on Wednesday – with their seatbelts on. We think this is a pretty cool initiative too. It’s nice to see the sheriff’s department handing out things other than tickets for safety. So, the next time you see the men in uniform and say, “All they do is give tickets …” check yourself, and your seat belt.
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Colorado Gov. Jared Polis has tested positive for the coronavirus.