Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column realizing how reliant we’ve grown on the internet.We stumbled upon our discovery Sunday morning, when to our utter dismay, the connection to everything beyond Summit County at the Corporate Suites was lost. Every time we turned around to complete another task, it was hopeless. We couldn’t update our website, filling out our time card was a lost cause, we had no access to dictionary.com or thesaurus.com to augment our stellar vocabulary, and we were dying to know what the discounted gear of the day was on steapandcheap.com.
Naturally, we figured it was our circa 1990 computer that struggles to open any program or document without crashing, so we moved on to one of the fancy setups with sleek screens across the room. Lo and behold, the world wide web fired right up, dialing us in to all the day’s most important news such as Keith Richards injury due to a fall from a palm tree in Fiji. What would we have done if we’d gone through the day without knowing that! We were certainly pleased to find that were we once again connected with the outside world, but slightly perturbed at ourselves for feeling so stranded in the 10 panic-filled minutes when we could only twiddle our thumbs and wonder how we would ever be able to accomplish anything without the internet. We’re officially whipped by the online monster.***
Here’s a note from Christian (whose bruised face is pictured somewhere on this page), the first entry in Summit Up’s new Humpty-Dumpty Contest:”So there I was minding my own business, tearing down some off-piste powder at Switzerland’s swanky St. Moritz ski resort, when all my years of good luck finally caught up to me. I was skiing on my trusty Kneissls (purchase price 75 Euros w/ poles), which had served me well, except for the rather unfortunate separation of the bottom and top half of the front end of my left ski. You should be thinking alligator at this point. Well, as one might imagine, this was problematic. It all came to a head (literally) as I was tearing down said swanky Swiss snow. Just as I launched off a modestly sized rock band, my left Kneissl decided to try out its gaping alligator jaw and take a bite out the snow below. The events that followed are based on the accounts of my companions, as my recollection was marred by the impact of my face on my Kneissl. It seems that in the confusion following the sudden slowing my cannibalistic Kneissl popped off midair, flying forward and sticking up like a spear in the snow below. I was the second victim of my Kneissl ire, absorbing the full impact of the collision with my face as impaled myself on the ski below. It hurt. Blood was everywhere. It took nine stitches to patch up the gaping wound. But it does make for a great picture. Enjoy.”
Brutal, dude. In case you missed it, the contest is to find out who can show off the best bruises sustained during the ski season.To get your hands on the prize, send us your gnarliest photo of a bruise and/or other injury earned from this ski season to the present. Also include a description of how you obtained your badge of honor. We’ll only publish G-rated boo-boos, so keep it clean. We reserve the right to edit or completely black out photos for tastefulness. Send us your gross outs from your all-out efforts to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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