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Summit Up


Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column feeling like ER docs, except we’re grossed out and exclaiming at every turn.Not too professional, you say?Well, we’ve created a monster here at Summit Up with our Humpty Dumpty Contest. Our readers are submitting pictures of the biggest gross-out injuries and we’ve spent the day huddled in groups, pointing and moaning at computer screens around the office.”Look at that one!” “Oh my god it’s every color of the rainbow!””I think I see some fuchsia in the center there.”We never knew bruises, stitches and bug bites could be so entertaining.All we’ve got to say is, Our Readers Kick Butt! We’ve got the gnarliest boo-boo’s going in the High Country, and we’re here to brag about them.For those of you who haven’t been following along, the contest is about breaking things then putting them back together again (hence the name) – just like the brand-new rainforest puzzle we have waiting at the Corporate Suites as a prize. To get your hands on this symbolic game, send us your gnarliest photo of a bruise and/or other injury earned from this ski season to the present. Also include a description of how you obtained your badge of honor. We’ll only publish G-rated boo-boos, so keep it clean. Send us your gross outs from your all-out efforts to thanks for the entertainment!

***And now we’d like to talk about “example pants.”Example pants are basically panties with some extra periods. You know, pant-i.e.-s.Now we’d like to develop the definition for “pant-i.e.-s.”Pant-i.e.-s, noun:1) A mere model of the real article. 2) Example pants.3) Pantaloon- and underwear-like clothing items worn by mannequins, dolls, pets or anything not human, though the items are designed for humanity.Therefore, if all the aliens have been calling their two-legged, tailored fabrics “pants,” we should (as a species) try and communicate to them that the fact that they aren’t human means they’re all wearing pant-i.e.-s – even if they are masculine life forms who aren’t “into” feminine undergarments.***It’s Thursday, and we’re out tanning our flawless skin …

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