Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that’s exhausted from trying to hit every two-for-one in the county.Don’t get us wrong, we think two-for-ones are great. We appreciate local businesses for giving us the off-season opportunity to eat at places we otherwise couldn’t afford. It’s just that by the time mud season’s over we can’t fit into any of our clothes.The problem comes down to this: How can a sane person reasonably turn down half-priced food?It’s sort of like going to Vegas for just one night. When we do that, we have to hit every casino, play every machine in every casino, eat in every restaurant, spend every penny of our money and stay up all night.
Two-for-ones are similar. When we see the ads, we worry that we’ll miss out on something if we don’t take advantage of every single one. But even if we manage to restrict ourselves to certain restaurants, it’s still difficult to make it through May without a certain amount of physical trauma. We experienced this recently at one of our favorite restaurants in Breckenridge. We saw the two-for-one advertisement – just like we do every mud season – and said to ourselves, “Now’s our chance to get a wonderful meal without having to go without groceries for the rest of the week!”We made our dinner reservations, asking for our favorite table. We didn’t eat anything all day, and even tried to get some exercise after work, because we wanted to be really hungry when the bewitching hour arrived. After all, this was our one chance to get gourmet food.We put on our loosest pair of pants and got to the restaurant at the stroke of seven. Miracle of miracles, we got our favorite table and were greeted by our favorite waiter, Sid.
Even if the food were bad, Sid would make it all worthwhile. But the food is fabulous and it’s all TWO-FOR-ONE!Appetizers, salads, entrees, desserts – we want to try them all! And baskets of delicately flavored fresh bread dipped in herb-saturated olive oil. We can’t stop. The second appetizer is absolutely FREE! The second entree doesn’t cost ANYTHING! We hear a tiny voice in our head that sounds like our mother: “If you don’t finish it, it’ll go to waste. Think of all the starving children in Africa.”So we order everything on the menu, because we want to make our mother happy and because it’s TWO-FOR-ONE!Sid, our favorite waiter, looks a little worried when we say we want to try the mahi-mahi AND the pork medallions AND the homemade ravioli AND the Churrasco beef. He probably sees this kind of behavior all the time during mud season. He keeps smiling, though, and keeps on bringing the plates. He must know better than to get between a Summit County resident and a two-for-one deal.
When we finally make it through the last little dollop of homemade ice cream, we suddenly get scared that we’re going to have to spend the night there with Sid – because we don’t think we can move. Thank goodness he doesn’t offer us a “wafer-thin mint.”The next day we make the fatal mistake of opening up the newspaper.”Omigod! Our favorite Italian restaurant has two-for-ones this week!” we scream.***It’s Sunday, and we’re out jogging to Durango, trying to shed a few pounds.
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