Welcome to Summit Up, the world’s only daily column that doesn’t always wake up in time for breakfast.”Our ability to live is what is at stake.”Okay, now we’re awake.These words come from almost-president Al Gore in his upcoming film “An Inconvenient Truth.” Gore has taken the energy he must have gathered from the 2000 election debacle and directed it toward this documentary about the science of global warming.Did you know that 2005 was the hottest recorded year in the history of the Earth?Did you know that 10 of the hottest years of all-time have occurred in the past 14 years?Did our planet betray us, or did we betray our planet?These are questions Gore attempts to answer with scientific and journalistic proof. This film is apparently not meant to be a story of despair, but a rallying cry.Anyway, one of Gore’s main points seems to be about priorities. He believes that the state of the Earth’s equilibrium is much more dire than the threat of terror at this point.The film will be released this summer. Visit http://www.apple.com to view the trailer.***Bill H. called in to promote the photography of dog-poo terrorists:”I’m calling about people violating laws regarding their dogs pooping. I think it’s a great idea, and I think more photos would help.”***The next message on the Summit Up machine came from Mike N., who is not to happy about his missing skateboard.”Uh, this is a Scum Alert!!, by the way. On Sunday, the 21st, I went to the Boatyard and left my skateboard outside. I had a couple beers, and when I went to leave, someone had stolen it. My number is 485-3132; Boatyard Pizzeria and Grill; someone stole my Effin’ skateboard. Thanks.”Uh oh, the ethical consequence for skateboard thieves tends to be the loss of the ability to ollie as well as a series of embarrassing events. Mike, If you ever find out who stole your board, just do what some of our friends did to each other in the dormitory we stayed in during our freshman year of college: Poop in a bowl and hide it somewhere in their home that would be very hard to find.Old fish also work.***It’s not skateboards but thunder that Erika may have stolen from Bill G., who wrote in last week about an apparent (to Bill G.) UFO sighting. Erika writes:”In response to the ‘UFO’ sighting from the Soda Spring pool mentioned in Friday’s Summit Up, I can report that I, too, saw something unusual in the sky around noon on Friday, May 12th, possibly the same thing Bill G. saw. I noticed six (but not seven or eight) silvery shapes floating and spinning, just as Bill described, from my deck in Summit Cove. I, however, had access to some powerful binoculars. On closer inspection, they were clearly identifiable as birds – white pelicans! Not believing this could be, I thumbed through my trusty Rocky Mountain bird book – to my surprise, they were in there. Turns out they migrate through this area on their way to summer in Jackson Lake, Wyo., and Yellowstone. Mystery solved?”We can’t really be sure Erika, but we like the new knowledge of the possibility for white pelican sightings. As for UFOs, we’re still interested in your alien-encounter stories. Please send your stories about spaceships and extra terrestrials to email@example.com, or call us at (970) 668-4625.***We have a graduation announcement for Frisco’s Duston Roberts, who received a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Missouri State University on Friday at Hammons Student Center in Springfield.***We’re spacing ’em out today, but we have another Scum Alert!! Scum Alert!!”Some people broke into my apartment in Warrior’s Mark on Monday and ransacked the place, taking my entire collection of obscure, imported CDs, as well as my beat-up old laptop computer and backup disks containing a novel I’ve been writing for the last seven years. The worst part? I hadn’t even finished moving in and I just arrived from Oregon! What a welcome. At least in my hometown of Detroit they gave you the luxury of settling in for a few days before robbing you. If the people who took my stuff are reading this: Please return it! It’s extremely important to me and I can’t imagine you can sell it, much less agree with my weird taste in music.” – T. Morningstar (970) 393-3309.May the guilty ones be plagued with constant dissonance.***We’re out, stretching the yawns out of our ideas for greener machines.
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